LANGDON, ND – After a recent 43-day admission, local resident Sylvia McElroy reviewed her stay at Cavalier County Memorial Hospital with a disappointing 1-star rating on Trip Advisor®.
“Where do I begin? This place simply did NOT live up to expectations,” wrote McElroy. “They call us ‘guests’, not patients. That has significant implications. So I expect to be treated like a hotel guest.” This was unexpected feedback for CCMH, which is currently listed #1 of 1 hospital in Langdon.
“First of all, the ROOM,” continued McElroy. “Small. Awful view; all I could see was the parking lot. No drawers or a dresser to put my clothes in. The toilet was clean, and the shower was spacious, but that’s where the positives end. No carpeting. The floor was frequently sticky. And for some odd reason, there was another sink in the room next to my bed, I have no idea why. Plus, the door had no lock on it, allowing anyone to simply come in and do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted, at all hours of the day and night. The bed was not comfortable in the least. Housekeeping did come in to change the linens daily, but they insisted on coming in when I was still in the room, and often still in the bed – so annoying and SOOO awkward! Oh, and I was a mile from the elevator. And I never did find the ice machine.”
She went on to describe the quality of the culinary options: “The food service was TERRIBLE! Everything had to be ordered from ‘room service’. I tried to order a pizza from Papa John’s, but the staff wouldn’t allow the delivery guy up to my room. They wouldn’t even let my family or friends bring food to me. Who cares if I’m having surgery in the morning??? This is AMERICA, it’s a free country! That’s how capitalism works, COMPETITION! And whenever I did order from room service, half the stuff on the menu was ‘not available’. Something about being on a ‘heart healthy’ diet… hey Ratatouille, I already HAD my quadruple bypass! I can have greasy food again now if I want to!“
McElroy also took umbrage at the noise level during her stay. “There was all kinds of noise out in the hall outside my room, all night long… I could hear other ‘guests’ yelling and screaming at all night long. Some of them sounded like they were delirious or in severe pain. They must have been throwing some sort of drug-fueled, BDSM party down the hall, but meanwhile, I’m trying to get some shuteye! But even if they had been quiet, I still had some box mounted on a pole next to my bed that kept beeping. ALL. NIGHT. LONG. But the worst was the helicopter that always seemed to be nearly landing on the roof. You’d think the FAA would be more careful with their flight paths.”
Even the entertainment options were disappointing to McElroy. “The TV did have cable and there was free Wi-fi, I’ll give them that,” she said. “But the remote was hanging on some cord and plugged into a wall (SOOO annoying, again). But the Wi-fi was painfully slow, and blocked my online gambling website. And there was no HBO, no premium channels… I missed five episodes of Game of Thrones! And don’t even get me started on the lack of on-demand adult entertainment channels.”
In the end, McElroy simply could not recommend her stay to friends. “They really have to step up if they want to improve business and have 90+ % occupancy,” she stated. “They’ll never be able to compete with the big hotel chains like Mayo and Cleveland Clinic.”