TSA Takes Wrist X-Rays for Poorly-Insured Passenger

NEW YORK, NY – Shocked at the out-of-pocket costs he was incurring for the care of his recent wrist fracture, New York area resident Brian Slatkin scoured the internet for the cheapest airline ticket he could find and then headed for JFK.

The TSA agent, sympathetic with Mr. Slatkin’s plight, assisted him onto the carry-on luggage table and eased him across the rollers onto the conveyor belt.  With his briefcase immediately preceding him, Mr. Slatkin assumed the Superman position and first received a front-to-back x-ray, and after a momentary reversal of the belt, a side-to-side image of his wrist, both of which the TSA agent saved to the traveler’s thumb drive. Slatkin’s cost-saving maneuver apparently resonated with nearby travelers who began asking if the machine had capabilities for bone density testing, computed tomography scanning, and magnetic resonance imaging.

Intrigued with these possibilities, TSA and the airlines are looking into upgrading the scanners not only to heighten security but also to allow those passenger-patients requiring sedation to be stacked and forklifted from the screening area directly into the cargo holds of their awaiting planes. At press time, airport concourse merchants were formulating a list of objections.