MADISON, WI – Doreen Knowitall was horrified that her primary care physician again offered her a flu shot “Even though I told her I didn’t want it last year! I can’t believe she thinks that I would just change my mind like that – really, it’s insulting that she thinks I rejected her flu shot without doing my research and thinking it through and that I’d go back on my decision this year.”
Doreen patiently explained to her physician repeatedly, “Every time I get a flu shot, later that month, I get sick!” Her physician interjected that she is getting sick in winter months because that’s when everyone gets sick, to which Doreen sagely countered, “So the shot doesn’t even work, does it?”
The benefits of herd immunity, long-lasting protection against ever-increasing numbers of flu strains, and preventing oneself from being a carrier of deadly illness to weak, old, young and fragile people was immediately rejected by Doreen, who is absolutely certain that the flu shot gives her the flu.
Dr. Dejected patiently attempted to point out that the measles shot doesn’t give you measles, the tetanus shot doesn’t give you tetanus, and the flu shot doesn’t give you the flu, but Doreen cut her off with the golden opportunity to showcase her sister-in-law’s third best friend’s episode of getting a flu shot last year and then immediately falling ill within one minute. Dr. Dejected put the vial of flu vaccine back into the refrigerator, sighed a deep sigh, considered the amount in his 401K, and wished his patient well while noting that Darwinism is still alive and well. Doreen attempted to console her healthcare provider on the way out by noting “If I do get the flu, don’t worry, I’ll treat it with antibiotics!”