Hospital to Reduce Infections by Coating Patients In Anti-Bacterial Ointment

  • 775
    Shares

CHICAGO, IL – Chicago General Hospital is beginning a new initiative to reduce infections in the hospital. Dr. Reiff Lightlier, CMO of the hospital, said ,” As we all know infections in hospital are devastating complications we desperately want to avoid. Many have tried initiatives such as gowns, gloves, hand washing and many others with limited success.”

silence-of-the-lambs-house8-e1440033581616
I rubs the Antibiotic Ointment on its skin

The initiative, which will begin next month, is simple: coat patients in anti-bacterial ointment. The patient’s nurse will receive an electronic notification any time they are found to have an infection. They will be then instructed to place the routine contact precautions in the doorway, and additionally slather the patient in several gallons of anti-bacterial ointment.

Dr. Lightlier commented that, “ We realize doctors and nurses lack the common human decency to simply wash their hands between seeing patients. It is literally impossible to convince anyone to do this. But the idea of coating the patient in ointment has really caught on.”

Jackie Thompson, 7th floor medicine nurse says, “ I think we should make it a slip’n slide type thing, you know just lay out a big slide and have the patients just run down it and get all soaked and covered in the stuff, wow what a blast that would be. Infections would plummet.”  Tamika Jones, MICU nurse had another idea “For immobile patients, how about a water gun, like a super soaker? We’d all be excited about blasting our infected patients with one of those.”

The hospital was looking into bringing in local elementary school children to host water balloon fights filled with antibiotic ointment on the Infectious Disease Unit.

At press time Dr. Ligthlier was ordering dunk tanks to be filled with anti-bacterial ointment to be placed under neath patients at high risk for infections, such as those immunosupressed by organ transplants or HIV.

image_pdfimage_print
  • Gomerblog Team

    This author is actually a group of authors that contribute. Many famous Gomerblog authors have published here later to have their works printed under their real name. Maybe one day you too could be part of the Gomerblog team

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

Medical Student’s Artwork Accepted to Netter Gross Anatomy Book, Disappointment Ensues

33SharesTULSA, OK – 24-year-old medical student, Jeremy Stevenson has been an aspiring artist at heart.  ...

ticks as phlebotomist

Ticks to Assist Phlebotomists With Patients Who Are Tough IV Sticks

3KSharesThere are many examples of animal helpers in healthcare. Examples range from assistance dogs ...

viral antibiotics

After Post Goes Viral, Gomerblog Consults ID for Antibiotics

765SharesCHICAGO, IL – Gomerblog has consulted infectious diseases specialist Dr. Johann Phlegmon at University ...

urethral stent

Frustrated Urologist Designs Obscenity-Screaming Stent

767SharesBOSTON, MA – It started in 2007 when Dr. Ronald Jeremy, a staff urologist, ...

sick patient

Sicker Patients Benefit from Reduced Medical Attention

169SharesIt has been clearly documented that patients requiring multiple blood transfusions have poorer outcomes ...