breakfast

Survey finds this year’s residents not down for breakfast

  • 73
    Shares

ATLANTA, GA – Almost halfway into their intern year, survey statistics are showing a troubling trend. This year’s new residents are not down for breakfast. As news of this phenomenon hit the markets, the Dow dropped by 7 points, while tater tot ventures are falling rapidly.

breakfastThe cause? Some speculate that residents this year are just not that chill, while others state that the hospital breakfast is “not very good.”

“We triple checked our data analysis, because we thought there had to be an error,” said Masters of Public Health postdoc Rick Moreson. “Resident breakfasts are an integral source of revenue for the hospital cafeteria. Besides residents, who else is going to be willing to drink bad coffee along with a side of chicken wings at 6am?”

“I really don’t know what the big deal is,” states Dr. Alicia Forthright, PGY1 while eating an energy bar. “We have sick patients to take care of, so I just bring a snack. I don’t get why everyone is so fixated on this breakfast thing.” Unfortunately Dr. Forthright was not asked any follow-up questions, as this reporter was at a loss for words, and simply stared incredulously.

Hospital president Mark Bossman encourages residents to do the right thing, and make breakfast a priority. “We know you all have a lot of responsibilities,” Bossman said while addressing the intern class, “but sometimes you just need to prioritize and know that you won’t get to everything all in one day. Your hospital cafeteria needs you now, because without your help, it may not be here tomorrow.”

image_pdfimage_print
  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

Attending Does NOT Agree with Intern’s Plan as Noted Above

1.3KSharesAUBURN, AL – “This is absolute horsesh*t,” said family medicine attending Renata Bellows, as ...

Child of Pediatrician Tired of Correcting Her Kindergarten Classmates

1.3KSharesMADISON, WI – Zoe, oldest child of accomplished pediatric cardiologist Dr. Samantha Lewis, is ...

sudoku mission accomplished

Victory: Anesthesia Solves Every Last Sudoku on Earth

1.9KSharesSCHAUMBURG, IL – Citing today as unequivocally the greatest day in the history of ...

chocolate

Pyxis Stocked with Chocolate to Meet Anesthesia Department Needs

2.2KSharesA recent pharmacy audit of the anesthesia department led to a change in pyxis ...