human organs

AMA Announces List of the Top 6 Useless Organs

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The Human body is a marvelous biologic machine, adapted to sustain homeostasis in a wide variety of environments. A spectacular coalescence of multiple organs highly evolved to sustain life…. for the most part. Some organs are a complete waste of protoplasm. After years of deliberation, the AMA has finally published a list of the most useless parts of anatomy that should really be ashamed of themselves:

human organs#6. Prostate. We all remember from med school that prostate injects something or other to support the health of the sperm. But we also suspect and urologists will attest that sperm are relentless and unstoppable without the help of the prostate. For all its marginal benefit, prostate dysfunction from self serving swelling produces urinary and sexual dysfunction and cancer. Shame!

#5. Gallbladder: Supposedly this useless sack’s job is to gather and concentrate bile and secret it into the intestines. While no one can understand why bile can’t just go straight in, the gallbladder consistently forms stones causing the liver and the pancreas great hardship for no reason. Fail!!!

#4. Foreskin: While technically not an organ, its removal is one of the most frequent procedures performed, making it pretty damn useless, aside from supplying eons of circumcision related humor.

#3. The 3rd place was a tightly contested tie between the second and third chin. No clear function can be identified for either except possibly keeping the thyroid company.

#2. Appendix. The only reason this vestige is not on top of the list is that in spite of its 0 benefit and 100% harm, this scumbag is real easy to get rid of. “I could do it with my eyes closed” boasted surgeon Dr Phil Lopean. “Hell I’ve done it with eyes closed, on a dare, while racing my partner. I won with 12 minutes scalpel to close time!”

#1. The Pannus: Clear winner, this monstrosity of evolution can swell to enormous sizes. While it originates in the abdomen, it can envelop and obliterate other parts of the body including flanks, groin, sense of decency and medical students trying to retract it. For all the damage that the pannus wreaks, it serves no useful function aside from an occasional chuckle it can provide to those who do not have to deal with its cornucopia of repulsive odors and sticky secretions.

  • Livin La Vida Locum MD

    Livin La Vida Locum MD chose the most rewarding of all medical specialties and became a hospitalist. Wanting to contribute even more to the medical community, he trialed his hand at clinical research, but quickly realized that peer reviewed articles, R2,, and Odds Ratios will never top the impact of thorough healthcare reporting. So he dedicated his life to delivering the finest, deepest and broadest medical news from around the country. He accomplishes this monumental task by accepting locum assignments all over the country; in towns, villages and “hospitals” you never heard of and will never visit. May all fans of medical satire benefit from his wandering.

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