Want to Throw the Kitchen Sink at Your Patient? It Now Comes in IV Form

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PARAMUS, NJ – Leaky Ivy Pharmaceuticals announced that the increasingly popular Kitchen Sink will now be available in an IV form. Reported Dr. Remy Kade, CEO of Leaky Ivy. “Throwing The Kitchen Sink at the patient has become an integral therapeutic of Standard, Critical and Futile Care. In the spirit of answering the needs of our clinicians, Leaky Ivy is pleased to offer a more convenient dosage form of this indispensable agent.”

kitchen sinkLocal Hospitalist, Dr. Ross Sephin could not hide his excitement about the new therapeutic option. “We frequently have patients for whom kitchen sink is the only option. But it’s difficult to administer, typically because it is a large physical object of an irregular shape that doesn’t not fit into any tubes going into the patient. But now I can just order a bolus and know that I’ve done all I can. Ross Cephin’s enthusiasm was shared by his partners Drs. Van Koh and Zoe Sinn, who frequently round together.

Pulmonologist Dr Al Violi could not hide his eagerness to use IV Kitchen Sink. “Look at my ICU, he shouted: Mr Stemiwitz, his ST segment is higher than the ceiling, or Mr John Dice, Hgb< INR, or Mr Lev Itra: Heart Rate<Resp Rate. All of them in need of healthy doses of IV Kitchen Sink!”

Leaky Ivy Pharma reported that IV Kitchen Sink will be supplied in a wide selection of sizes varying from 250cc pediatric bag to a 2500 gallon tank which can be parked in the back of the hospital.

Leaky Ivy was forced to disclose that randomized controlled studies of IV Kitchen Sink have yet to show efficacy over the 5th pressor.

  • Livin La Vida Locum MD

    Livin La Vida Locum MD chose the most rewarding of all medical specialties and became a hospitalist. Wanting to contribute even more to the medical community, he trialed his hand at clinical research, but quickly realized that peer reviewed articles, R2,, and Odds Ratios will never top the impact of thorough healthcare reporting. So he dedicated his life to delivering the finest, deepest and broadest medical news from around the country. He accomplishes this monumental task by accepting locum assignments all over the country; in towns, villages and “hospitals” you never heard of and will never visit. May all fans of medical satire benefit from his wandering.

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