Dr. Hal Dole Voted Best Psychiatrist of the Year

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KEARNEY, NE – For the tenth year in the row, the venerable Dr. Hal Dole was recognized as the most effective psychiatrist by the nurses, doctors, and therapists at Kind Samaritan Hospital. While not entirely omnipotent, Dr. Hal Dole was able to chill the f*ck out of the most strung out crackheads and wildest withdrawing alchies in the ICU.

Dr. Sara Quell and Dr Laura Z. Pam tied for second place but were unable to deliver the serenity and calm so needed by the thrashing and cussing 90-year- old ICU patients at 4 AM.

Dr. Dole’ cousin, Dr. Reese Perry Done, clinched third place once again, but was unable to stop withdrawing alcoholics from peeing on the ceiling. Also in the running were Dr. Alonzo Pinn and Dr. Abby-Lee Fye, but their efforts came in short when it came to octogenarians flinging pooh at nurses. While the hospital veteran Dr. Benny Drill was also considered for the award, he was found to be inferior to restraints at subduing a sundowner’s left hook.

Long time hospitalist Dr. Luka Penia commented on the award: “Dr. Hal Dole is my number one go-to guy. Had it not been for him, I would have lost my sh*t years back.”

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  • Livin La Vida Locum MD

    Livin La Vida Locum MD chose the most rewarding of all medical specialties and became a hospitalist. Wanting to contribute even more to the medical community, he trialed his hand at clinical research, but quickly realized that peer reviewed articles, R2,, and Odds Ratios will never top the impact of thorough healthcare reporting. So he dedicated his life to delivering the finest, deepest and broadest medical news from around the country. He accomplishes this monumental task by accepting locum assignments all over the country; in towns, villages and “hospitals” you never heard of and will never visit. May all fans of medical satire benefit from his wandering.

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