Pediatric Residents in Uproar as Hospital Bans Highlighters

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In a landmark move, the Children’s Hospital has banned the use of highlighters on hospital premises leading to enraged pediatric residents. In their anger, pediatric residents have engaged in demonstrations across the hospital that include crying, stomping their feet and refusing to move until they “get their way”.

Gomerblog Team was on scene and able to get an exclusive quote from second year resident Dr. Lisa Stickers. “This is ridiculous! Now what am I supposed to do with eighty highlighters of varying colour, thickness and brand”, says Dr. Stickers as she fought back tears. Dr. Stickers did seem to feel a little better when she was reminded nap time was 30 minutes away.

The CEO of the hospital was able to provide some insight into the ground-breaking decision. “It was a cost-saving move. Do you know how much money we wasted on accidentally highlighted notes? Tens of dollars worth!”. The CEO expanded on this by stating that if the residents did not stop complaining about the decision, he would “turn this hospital around”. No one is quite sure what he meant by that.

Residents are reeling about the changes this will lead to. At the top of the list of concerns is the effect this decision will have on writing notes.  Chief resident Dr. John Apgar exclaimed, “I have no idea what to do! Am I supposed to write my notes with a pen like some boring internist?” When told “Yes”, the chief resident looked puzzled and asked, “But how will they know the different sections of the admission note without my colour-coded highlighting?”.

It is clear that the entire pediatric residency program will need to be modified to accommodate the lack of highlighters. The program director issued the following statement: “I’m not even sure we can make competent pediatricians with our hands tied like this”. Regardless, it is clear that something needs to be done as several residents have been witnessed wandering the hospital aimlessly and asking if they are still allowed to have their juice.

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