General Surgeon Addicted to Thrill of Craigslist Bargaining

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BOISE, ID – Many physicians complain about burnout and lack of inspiration during routine procedures but one doctor has found his own solution. “After hundreds of appendectomies and cholecystectomies, I’ve found that I no longer get the thrill from operating anymore. So I began haggling on Craigslist,” said Dr. Jason Carlie, while scrubbing in for his next surgery. “Right now I’m trying to convince this college kid to sell me his hundred-fifty dollar bike rack for twenty bucks.”

On average, Dr. Carlie says he checks Craigslist 5 times a day, often as soon as he wakes up. “You never know what kind of deals people are gonna post overnight, you’d be surprised at how badly people want to get rid of some of this stuff. Especially students, I love taking advantage of their inability to move things out of their dorm rooms.”

Need some excitement in your life? Dr. Carlie has some insider tips for those interested in cultivating their own Craigslist obsession: “When you go to check out a find, make sure to point out any scratches or deformities. One time I was looking at a dresser and noticed quite a few imperfections in the wood. After about twenty minutes of discussion with the seller, he told me ‘to just take the f-ing thing’ so I got that baby for free! Also if you have to go pick it up, tell them they need to knock $30 off the price. Doesn’t matter if it’s a couch or a lamp, gas is expensive nowadays.” Despite his $200,000+ salary, he makes sure that he’s always getting a deal and isn’t afraid of coaxing a lower price out of a seller.

“There’s no better high then agreeing on a price and knowing you got a stellar deal. Even beats heroin!”

  • Doktor Schnabel

    Plague doctor from 1622 who practices blood letting and medical satire. My beak has mint leaves and straw to protect myself from the it looks good.

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