New DSM to classify hearing a diastolic murmur as an auditory hallucination

  • 7K
    Shares

Dubuque, Iowa – following a growing number of reports on the deteriorating mental health among doctors, the American Psychiatric Association decided to tackle the issue through the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). The 6th edition reportedly will be physician-friendly and address everyday medical issues.

Is that a murmur or an auditory hallucination?

The psychiatry team met with top cardiologists who agreed that ‘some cardiac sounds’ can be heard by the 200 year old device, while ‘others cannot’.

“We decided to put a stop to the familiar phenomenon of bunch of trainees nodding their heads in a fake agreement as the tutor boasts in a faint heart sound that is clearly not there. If you really think that you hear this theoretical sound then you have a problem”.

Another unexpected classification is the digital rectal examination (DRE) as a digital paraphilia. “We found that in 100% of the cases surgeons perform a brief H&P and physical then order CT and follow a CT-directed care. If you elect to do DRE, it means you like it.”

Changed are also coming to the medicine department. Criteria for the definition of ADHD will be expanded to include “performing, reporting, or documenting Chvostek, Kernig, or Argyll-Robertson signs on more than 1 occasion”.

In the 6th edition, Status consultus defined as “the acute presentation of a massive activation of consult services for a patient, out of proportion to the degree of the patient’s illness”. It is mostly commonly seen among interns while on first ICU rotation.

“We hope that early recognition of these common situations will be appropriately addressed (with SSRIs) and shall not be dismissed anymore”

image_pdfimage_print
  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

EMS

EMS Company Offers Subscription-Based Service

463SharesINDIANAPOLIS, IN – Accessible Ambulance, a local EMS company, will soon roll out a ...

thunderstorm

Patient Demands Nurse Change The Weather

1.2KSharesBALTIMORE, MD – Patient Amanda Stanley was having a terrible day: her appendix had ...

hospital lies

New Hospital Policy Aims to Punish Patients for Lying

517SharesOrlando, FLORIDA – Have you ever been a victim of a lying patient, such ...

Queen Elizabeth Gets IUD Removed, Ready to Have Another Royal Baby

32Shares LONDON, ENGLAND – Sources close to the Queen of England, Elizabeth II, say ...