mars essential oils

MRSA Colonizes Mars

  • 1.1K

In a joint conference, CDC and NASA delivered a striking blow to human ambition and ingenuity, announcing that MRSA has officially colonized Mars.  Defeating the dreams of such forward thinkers as Elon Musk and Richard Branson, aggressive MRSA became the first earth based organism to take hold of the Red Planet.

Infections Disease attending Dr. Emma Rassé informed the stunned audience of physicians and astronauts that MRSA can now routinely be detected in craters, rock formations as well as door handles and nursing homes of the red planet.

In a follow on announcement, ID specialist Dr. Anna Robes informed the deflated audience that resistant Pseudomonas has now taken a firm hold on the ,oon.  Venereal disease expert Dr. Estée Dee went on to add that multi-resistant gonorrhea was expected to be the first earth-based life form to leave the solar system.

The American Academy of Infections Diseases was divided on gonorrhea’s suitability to be the first contact of terrestrial life forms with alien races.  ICD-10 codes for bacterial colonization of distant worlds are expected shortly.

  • Livin La Vida Locum MD

    Livin La Vida Locum MD chose the most rewarding of all medical specialties and became a hospitalist. Wanting to contribute even more to the medical community, he trialed his hand at clinical research, but quickly realized that peer reviewed articles, R2,, and Odds Ratios will never top the impact of thorough healthcare reporting. So he dedicated his life to delivering the finest, deepest and broadest medical news from around the country. He accomplishes this monumental task by accepting locum assignments all over the country; in towns, villages and “hospitals” you never heard of and will never visit. May all fans of medical satire benefit from his wandering.

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

Obama Replaces Surgeon General with Nurse Practitioner General

15.2KSharesWASHINGTON, D.C. – At a hastily-gathered press conference here today, President Obama announced that ...

screaming in ED

ED Study Links Volume of Screaming to Patient’s Level of Pain

482SharesSAN ANTONIO, TX – In a landmark study published in this month’s Annals of Emergency Medicine, researchers ...

call button nursing lockout interval

American Nurses Association Approves Call Lights with Lockout Intervals

36.6KSharesSILVER SPRING, MD – In an effort to bolster nursing satisfaction, the American Nurses ...

summer camp

Hospital Administrators Announce Summer Camp Itinerary

660SharesTo combat falling patient satisfaction scores and record staff turnover administration at Grace Disciple ...