Breaking: Wandering Atrial Pacemaker Gets a New Home

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The American Journal of Borderline Interesting Cardiology published today that a wandering atrial pacemaker has finally been settled in a permanent location. Dr. Amy Oderorone, project leader commented: “While not a serious medical condition, a wandering atrial pacemaker has been a nuisance to medical students residents and attendings….. everyone who’s not a cardiologist actually. Now this minor inconvenience has been solved.”

Dr Vera Pam-Mill who was also a part of the group went on to add, “It’s really not that serious of a diagnosis but the department forces us to do research, so why not settle this drifter.”

Dr. Brady Carr-Dick admitted that the settlement area between the third and fourth chin was not the most desirable location, but it provided an affordable home that is sparsely populated by other vital organs Reports indicate however, that the thyroid and both vagus nerves have become quite irritated by the presence of the vagrant pacemaker.

In an exclusive interview with Gomerblog, the pacemaker admitted that settling down was premature and he was planning to hit the road and seek new adventures shortly.  Non-cardiologists around the world can expect to be bugged by mildly abnormal EKGs soon enough.

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  • Livin La Vida Locum MD

    Livin La Vida Locum MD chose the most rewarding of all medical specialties and became a hospitalist. Wanting to contribute even more to the medical community, he trialed his hand at clinical research, but quickly realized that peer reviewed articles, R2,, and Odds Ratios will never top the impact of thorough healthcare reporting. So he dedicated his life to delivering the finest, deepest and broadest medical news from around the country. He accomplishes this monumental task by accepting locum assignments all over the country; in towns, villages and “hospitals” you never heard of and will never visit. May all fans of medical satire benefit from his wandering.

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