TAMPA, FL – Dr. Bradley Smith has done it all. As an expert in septic shock, trauma, and cardiac resuscitation, he has an impressive list of life saving skills. Despite his decisiveness in the Emergency Department, he remains hopelessly undecided about his future. Friends and family have expressed concern over his lack of direction.
“He’s a nice boy, but when is he going to stop with this ER nonsense and open up a practice? ”, asked Grandma Betty, referring to her grandson who has dedicated the last twenty years of his life to caring for the poor and under-served. According to sources, Grandma Betty has even called her Cardiologist to inquire about job openings.
“It’s a little embarrassing. You would think after twenty years he would have been promoted to Trauma Surgeon or something.”, said long term girlfriend Jessica Thomas, whose primary source of income comes from hosting a dog fashion blog.
Despite Dr. Smith’s impressive CV, which includes landmark publications and national leadership positions, patients were less than confident with his medical care.
According to local alcoholic Bob Sweeney, there was cause for concern. “I like Dr. Smith. He’s a nice enough guy. He got me out of a sticky situation when I jumped out of a moving vehicle and broke my collarbone, but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed”.
At press time, Dr. Smith could not be reached for comment. He was reportedly cardioverting an unstable V.Tach, intubating a respiratory arrest, and reducing a shoulder dislocation. After the shoulder reduction, the patient was seen by a hospital administrator who asked about his experience in the Emergency Department, “The orthopedist did a fantastic job on my shoulder, but the ER doc never even came to see me. I mean, what do they do all day?”