Physically Exhausted, Emaciated Radiologist Designs New Calorie-Conserving Workstation

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PORTLAND, OR – Local radiologist and entrepreneur Tim L’Atrophy is making news this week as he debuts his new groundbreaking radiology workstation. According to L’Atrophy, he has designed a new chair/desk combination that allows him to complete all of his work without burning excessive amounts of calories each day.

“I lost a whole pound last year,” said L’Atrophy, noting that he dropped from 251 to 250 pounds during the last 12 months. “It really began to worry me, so I started thinking how I could reduce my calorie demand,” he continued. Dr. L’Atrophy says he used to have to turn his head excessively to look at different screens multiple times a day. Combining this with constantly moving his right index finger left him physically exhausted at the end of each day. The new workstation will minimize the distance he has to rotate his neck, and also uses eye-tracking technology to reduce the number of clicks and mouse movements.

“Many people don’t realize how physically exhausting radiology can be” he said, “I mean, there are multiple times during the day where I have to stand up, take a couple of steps, and then sit back down. And don’t even get me started on having to reach to pick up the phone!”

Dr. Robert Branch, a general surgeon at the same hospital, was glad to hear that L’Atrophy has figured out a way to reduce radiologists physical strain. “Those guys just work so hard, I don’t know how their bodies handle the absurd level of physical stress” Branch said, “I mean, as surgeons we just stand around in the operating room for 14 hours a day and sprint from consult to consult in between cases. I feel pretty tired, so I can’t imagine how those guys feel.”

Dr. L’Atrophy is very excited about the potential for his invention, but he refrained from showing too much emotion during our interview due to concerns it would increase his metabolic rate. His future plans include designing software to read his thoughts and vocalize them, minimizing the need for him to use his precious voice during the day. He also hopes to come up with a system for human waste management so he doesn’t have to move to use the restroom.

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  • Dr. Shadowgazer

    Avoiding sunlight and human interaction at all costs, Dr. Shadowgazer spends most of his time staring at images of peoples’ insides on a computer screen in the deepest depths of the hospital. He is a master of indecision which proves incredibly helpful when recommending clinical correlation. Follow him on twitter @DShadowgazer

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