Clinically-Depressed Resident Not Flexible Enough for Yoga

  • 864

TAMPA, FL – In a sad and tragic turn of events, local resident doctor James Hilden was told that he would never fully be cured from his depression due to his inability to participate in yoga.  Dr. Hilden, who lacked the flexibility to maintain even the most basic child’s pose, was thought to be a hopeless case.

“There is a direct correlation between wellness and time spent in downward facing dog,” said local hospital administrator Dr. May.  “Since James is unable to participate in this wellness event, he will never obtain the peace of mind and existential realization that is required to complete residency.”

The yoga session, which occupied a five-minute block during weekly conference, was a cornerstone of the wellness curriculum.  “I was hoping that I could use that time to call my wife and children, since I rarely get to see them anymore,” said the unenlightened resident.  “I am told that I will have to undergo a wellness boot camp instead.”

The boot camp, which included mindfulness, hugs, and scheduled beatings with the “wellness stick” was a new and untested program which hospital administrators hoped could be used in refractory cases.  Participants were informed that the beatings would continue until wellness improved.

At press time, hospital administrators were unavailable for comment.  They were reportedly at home spending time with their families.

  • Gomerblog Team

    This author is actually a group of authors that contribute. Many famous Gomerblog authors have published here later to have their works printed under their real name. Maybe one day you too could be part of the Gomerblog team

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

thank you cards

Urology Resident Leaves Husband After Sizing Up the Competition

399SharesWHITE PLAINS, NY – Unfortunately we have to report on another sad tale of how graduate medical ...

female doctor

Patient Surprised To Find Out Female ‘Doctor’ Is Not A Nurse

47.8KSharesSANTA CLARA, CA – Jonathan O’Skool, a 78 year-old contractor, was admitted to McCormick ...

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Finding Hypodermic Needles in a Haystack

201SharesATLANTA, GA – The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says there is minimal ...


Why Do Anesthesiologists Really Put Up That Drape in the OR?

3.5KSharesLife is full of great mysteries: Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Why is ...