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HOLLYWOOD, CA – Specifically mentioning its “soothing atmosphere, unrushed physicians, and tendency for staff to not smirk upon mention of the disease,” the Fibromyalgia Action Network recently named the local Simon-Seyfried Emergency Department a “Fibromyalgia Center of Excellence.”

“Having fibromyalgia is hard, but caring for fibromyalgia patients with dignity and patience is even harder, and for that, these providers deserve to be recognized,” said Fibromyalgia Action Network president Sally Feitz, who also claims to suffer from the condition.

“The upscale Simon-Seyfried ER provides our patients with the assurance that their disease is real, without suggesting unbacked and fringe treatment modalities such as a balanced diet, aerobic exercise, proper sleep, and daily meditation. More importantly, the televisions in each room provide our patient’s husbands something to do while they’re waiting to be seen,” Ms. Feitz went on to say.

At press time, we reached out to Ms. Feitz for further comment, but she responded she “just can’t right now.”