Intern Accused of Being a Poster Whore

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OMAHA, NE – Ellis Simmons, intern in the Medicine-Pediatrics (Med-Peds) program, was discovered to be propositioning several pediatric hospitalists to work with him on different poster submissions to the residency program’s spring research symposium.

Ellis met with with Dr. Skowski at the coffee cart to discuss the interesting case of Charlie Lee at 2:00 PM. He rushed off citing personal intestinal distress, but Dr. Skowski spotted him shortly thereafter in her partner’s office.

An awkward conversation ensued in which Dr. Jensen let it slip that he and Ellis were planning to write up the interesting case of Jackson Chang for the symposium.

Dr. Skowski was taken aback since she believed herself to be Ellis’ only poster mentor. Quickly excusing herself, also citing personal intestinal distress, she retired to her own office where she encountered another partner, Dr. White.

Dr. White mentioned that one of the Med-Peds interns had asked about writing up an interesting case for the research symposium and asked for Dr. Skowski’s opinion of this intern.

When Dr. Skowski learned that the intern in question was Ellis, she erupted, “What a poster whore! Seriously! He told me I was his only mentor for the symposium.” Dr. White laughed at Dr. Skowski’s naïveté and said, “That’s not how interns operate these days, Liz. Geez!”

Liz Skowski stewed over this knowledge for awhile. To confront Ellis or not, that was the question. What good would it do? She and Ellis would still submit their poster, it would be of good quality and satisfying to her. Did it really matter that he was submitting posters with at least two of her other partners, too?

No. And yes. She wanted to be open-minded but couldn’t suppress the jealousy that was eating her up inside. Days and weeks went by. The poster, in all of its glory, was printed. Dr. Skowski wore her favorite fleece hoodie emblazoned with the hospital logo to the symposium.

As she rounded the corner where the trays of mini muffins intersected with her and Ellis’ poster, she saw him smiling coyly at Dr. Jensen in front of a different poster.

“Whore!” she shouted, accidentally overturning the tray of mini muffins as she ran toward the hospital gift shop for cover.

Ellis and Dr. Jensen looked startled for a moment but quickly turned back toward the interesting case of Jackson Chang.

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