Ode to Thyroid: Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride
I have to confess
I have not been appreciative of you
You give and you give and you give
But you also know when to pull back
You keep me from being a fat tired constipated mess
You don’t contribute to me being a hot anxious mess (that’s just my natural state)
You always know what’s right for me
Have I ever thought of you on a random Tuesday?
Have I ever called you up just to say thanks?
Have I done anything other than ignore you?
You don’t ask much of me
You are a self-sufficient career woman
You don’t just work to meet deadlines, you have product stored up for days
You don’t bother anyone else with your work
All you need is iodine—and no one else seems to be using it anyways
Heck, you even recycle iodine
But how do we reward you and your hard work?
By attacking you.
When we have a cold (de Quervian thyroiditis)
When we have a baby (postpartum thyroiditis)
And sometimes just because! (Hashimoto, Graves)
When things go wrong and we go to the doctor
For anything from Afib to dementia
You are the first person they accuse
You’re audited more than anyone else, with T4 and TSH added onto most work-ups
Oh how they WISH they’d find a reversible cause of the issue
But it’s rarely you
It’s never you
You mystery lil’ bowtie.