Medtronic, Blueface Promote New Thrombolysis System Clotiana

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DUBLIN, IRELAND: In a recent press release, Medtronic has announced its promotional partnership with Los Angeles-based rapper, Blueface, to market its new thrombolysis system Clotiana.

“With the advent of the categorical IR residency, Medtronic wants to engage the rising generation of interventional radiologists,” the press release explains.

The Clotiana slogan, “Bust it down, Clotiana,” is a play on Blueface’s hit song “Thotiana.”

The new product combines local pharmacologic delivery and ultrasonic shock waves to “bust down” thrombi.

However, the real innovation of this product promotion appears to be the use of the original lyrics as instructions for the product’s use.

According to the press release, the step-wise instructions include:

1. Bust down, Clotiana (state intended procedure)
2. I wanna see you bust down (goal of procedure is to visualize clot breakdown)
3. Pick it up, now break that sh*t down (secure embolus and activate Clotiana)
4. Speed it up, then slow that sh*t down (increase ultrasonic shock wave intensity and then slowly decrease intensity to ensure thorough clot breakdown)
5. Bust it, bust down, bust it, bust it (repeat as necessary)
6. Bust down on the gang (????)
7. Bust down, Clotiana (confirm final procedure performed)
8. I wanna see you bust down (confirm that clot is eliminated)

“We believe that this is the most effective method of teaching young learners, most of whom are unaccustomed to lecture-based or text-based learning,” the press release explains.

In a separate press release, Blueface, whose stage name is a reference to his ties with the notorious Crips street gang, commented on his interest in promoting the new product, “I was told this new product is the best at breaking down groups of bloods, and I was all in.”

The product is scheduled to launch in the United States later this month at an expo headlined by a Blueface performance featuring the Clotiana version of his chart-topping hit.

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