ambulance

Ambulance ride-share app launching soon!

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Exciting news abounds for those who believe that ambulances are large taxis with fancy lights and sounds. In spring 2020 the new ride-share app ‘Riding on shared cabs,’ known as ROSC for short, is going live!

EMT-turned-ROSC-CEO Mr. Lance shared during an exclusive interview, “A ton of individuals use ambulances as taxis anyway, so I really wanted to capitalize on that expanding market.”

The app features a convenient way to request an ambulance, in lieu of calling 911. After signing into the app, customers will request a ride just like Lyft or Uber users. However, in addition to their address and destination, the client will specify whether or not it is an actual emergency.

Beta testing has yielded rave reviews of ROSC. Ms. I’m-allergic-everything-except-Dilaudid exclaimed excitedly, “Finally there’s an app that is addressing my unique transport needs.” A passenger with fibromyalgia noted, “Regular ride-share apps totally make my stage four fibro flare, so this works way better for me.” When asked why she would call for an ambulance transport if her symptoms weren’t actively flaring, she rolled her eyes and replied, “Well, obvi – the best medicine is prevention.”

A frequent flyer, transported by ambulance no less than 100 times last year, explained plainly, “Now I can get where I need to go, without having that pesky stop at the ED where I just AMA anyway. ROSC will save me so much time.”

Passengers are advised that actual emergencies will take priority; additional riders (i.e.: real patients) may be picked up en route. When told of this stipulation, many beta testers shrugged, “Isn’t that expected when using a ride-share app?”

Not all passengers felt ROSC deserved a five-star review. A three-star review stated, “Some blood splattered on my coat from a trauma they transported in the middle of our ride, but I just loved how the crew turned on the lights and sirens to make sure we made our dinner reservation on time.”

The app will be free, compatible with Mac and iOS systems, and with the option for in-app purchases and upgrades. And, just like regular ambulance rides, passengers will receive an exorbitant bill that they didn’t realize they’re supposed to pay.

At the end of the interview Mr. Lance happily revealed, “If all goes well, we plan to expand ROSC into helicopter transfers early next fall.”

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