obstetrician

Field Guide To The Exotic Birds of Labor & Delivery

  • 1.4K
    Shares

The Double FOB: who has two women on the floor pregnant at the same time

The Lurker: TOLAC with a four-page birth plan who wants to labor at home

The Mystery: A patient who speaks a language for which there is no interpreter

The Threat: FOB escorted out by security

The Mule: Illicit drugs found in body cavity

The Cheating Bisexual: a patient with sperm in the vagina on microscopic rule-out rupture exam who comes in with her same-sex partner

The Guilty Party: fighting with FOB about who’s responsible for a new STI diagnosis in triage

The Mama Mia: someone in labor with two (or more) potential FOBs in the room

The Bingo: positive for 4 or more STIs

The Baby: pregnant younger than age 16

The Surprise: a patient who consents for themselves and the next day their legal guardian shows up

The Exhibitionist: caught having intercourse in hospital room

The Explorer: foreign object removed from vagina

The Nudist: refuses to wear clothes while in labor

The Paparazzi: ignores hospital “no photos of the vagina” policy

The Hotel Guest: patient leaves the floor for hours every day

The Optimist: always shows up to triage with luggage

The Overly Familiar: refers to physicians by first names despite requests not to

The Favorite: brings food for the staff

The Model: shows up for induction/c-section with false eyelashes

The Sugar Mama: gestational diabetic who shows up with large regular soda

The Misandrist: refuses to have any male staff

The Researcher: someone with an encyclopedic knowledge of preeclampsia with normal labs and blood pressures

The Scheduler: shows up on their due date in triage…because it is their due date

The Shopper: has gotten prenatal care at 2 or more hospitals

The Hippie: demands to lotus birth despite being against hospital policy

The Sword of Damocles: five or more prior c-sections and spotty prenatal care

image_pdfimage_print
  • Gomerblog Team

    This author is actually a group of authors that contribute. Many famous Gomerblog authors have published here later to have their works printed under their real name. Maybe one day you too could be part of the Gomerblog team

  • Show Comments

You May Also Like

Parody of Big Sean’s Bounce Back: ED/Medicine Bounce Back

394Shares4th year medical students rock it out in this parody of Big Sean’s Bounce ...

cosmetic

New Cosmetic Anesthesia Services Get Glowing Patient Reviews

530SharesCALABASAS, CA – Patient satisfaction has skyrocketed at a local California hospital after the ...

asteroids hemorrhoidsasteroids hemorrhoids

The Difference Between Asteroids & Hemorrhoids

408SharesIn this series, Gomerblog helps health care professionals compare and contrast two entities that ...

smart phone medical app

New Smartphone EMR Technology Allows Up To 120 Office Visits Per Hour

269SharesPrimary care medicine got a lot faster last month when AutoDoc Technologies rolled out ...

drape fort iron drapes

Anesthesia Completes Construction of Epic OR Drape Fort

2.3KSharesATLANTA, GA – After almost a year in the works, Anesthesia is excited to ...