Military Doctors Petrified if Motrin Found to Worsen Coronavirus

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Military physicians are on the edge of their seats after an opinion article out of France mentioned that NSAIDs may worsen Coronavirus infections. Extreme panic may be a better way to describe the way many military doctors are feeling at the moment

“Yeah, I’m scared,” stated flight surgeon Dr. William Henley. “Vitamin M, otherwise known as Motrin, is the cornerstone for pretty much any ailment we see. In fact, when I see a patient, I have already prescribed Motrin to them in my head and will only unprescribed it in very rare circumstances.”

Undersea medical officer, Dr. Samantha Riley, had similar concerns. “Vitamin M is as important to military medicine as the introduction of penicillin in 1928. Infections, we prescribe Motrin. Heart problems, Motrin. Anxiety, Motrin. Wanting a SIQ chit, Motrin. I think you get the gist. Without this incredible drug, we could lose 95% of the tools in our toolbox.”

For now military doctors are still fine, as this was just an opinion article without any sort of solid evidence. In fact, there are currently 13 military trials ongoing studying if Motrin can actually kill Coronavirus. Long live the 800mg Motrin TID prescriptions!

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  • Doktor Schnabel

    Plague doctor from 1622 who practices blood letting and medical satire. My beak has mint leaves and straw to protect myself from the plague...plus it looks good.

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