Per compliance with “social distancing,” all OR staff will now stand 6 feet away from each other, including 6 feet away from the patient.

Neurosurgeon Dr. Shortarms commented, “Yea, I mean you just can’t trust the sterile drapes, anymore. Fortunately our department purchased a toy bionic robot claw. I think it will be suitable for clipping aneurysms, but obviously there will be a learning curve as with any instrument when you first start. This is the best option to keep us and the patient safe!”

“I was never really good at darts,” said one scrub tech while practicing throwing the scalpel towards a surgeon. “But it’s never too late to get good!”

“Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and tibial nails,” said an orthopedic surgeon as he launched a mallet and nail towards the wall to practice.

The hospital is also set to purchase slinky versions of laparoscopes.

Hospital administrators hope these changes help in future Joint Commission inspections and CDC compliances.