Seattle, WA– North Seattle General Hospital held an emergency press conference today to roll out their mental health hotline for CrossFitters and Vegans that are struggling during the COVID-19 quarantine. “COVID-19 has touched everyone in America through illness, job loss, isolation, or a myriad of other ways” said Dr Frank Nightingale who heads up NSGM’s psychiatry department.
“The need for mental health services has really been a focus as so many people no longer have access to their normal support systems. We found that two groups were struggling more than others”, continued Dr Nightingale. “Vegans and CrossFitters have arguably been hit harder than any other group in America when it comes to the strain of isolation caused by the fallout of COVID-19. Both groups are known to thrive when telling complete strangers who they contact through their daily activities that they participate in CrossFit or that they practice a Vegan diet and lifestyle” Dr Nightingale continued to explain. “When they are deprived of talking about their choices with friends, family, colleagues, and the random passerby on the street, it really takes a toll on their psyche.”
Local CrossFit legend, Joe Kettlebell, was reached for comment about the breaking news. “Quarantine has been the lowest point of my life since I started doing CrossFit. I can’t hang with my bros down at the local box, I can’t brag to strangers about how many times I completed the Murph last week, I can’t tell the produce guy at the grocery store about how I CRUSHED the WOD. I feel so lost when I can’t casually mention to my co-workers that my triceps are so blasted from hitting my pullup PR” said Kettlebell.
We also spoke with local vegan, Rob Broccoli, who gained notoriety in early 2019 for telling 134 complete strangers in a single day that he was vegan. “The whole reason I became vegan was to tell other people that I am vegan. Oh, yeah, and because the animals too” stated Mr. Broccoli. “COVID-19 has taken away literally the only thing in life that I enjoy- I HATE THIS DAMNED VIRUS”! he exclaimed emotionally as he burst into tears.
Both Kettlebell and Broccoli agreed that the hotline would be a saving grace.
Dr Nightingale says that providers are standing by and ready to provide support to these two fragile groups. He also noted that his team will be working with colleagues in Portland, San Francisco, and Denver to start similar programs.