NORFOLK, VA – Outrage has erupted from the Colorectal Department of Medi-Ocre Hospital over substandard staff toilet rolls. Professor Daniel Rears has spearheaded this campaign to upgrade the staff’s toilet paper (TP).
![toilet paper two ply](http://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/toilet-paper-300x200.jpg)
“Look, it’s pretty simple for us, we spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week obsessed with our patient’s bowel movements, stranger’s f**king sh*ts. Normally that would be considered a crime!” Rears exclaimed.
“I honestly don’t think it’s too much to ask for double-ply toilet paper. We’re currently wiping with half ply! Half ply! It tears up in your hands for f**k’s sake! It’s only use is in a rectal prolapse, so when it tears up you can feel it and reduce it accordingly… Not that I have a rectal prolapse or anything…”
Dr. Reynold Bhum, a colorectal trainee, strongly opposes this change, stating that “the more exposure I have to feces, the better it is for my training.” Most in the department have ostracized Bhum because he’s weird.
Gomerblog wishes Rears a successful outcome. As far as we’re concerned, we’ll stick to our triple-ply golden TP.