Gergio Answering Questions

Hospital Gnome Retiring “Very Happy with Life’s Work”

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Gergio Answering Questions
Gergio Answering Questions

DALLAS, TX – Gergio, the hospital gnome assigned to Methodist Dallas Medical Center, called it quits on Friday.  Over 20 years of disconnecting patient lines, taking the last of the chuck pads, and changing orders in charts – just to name a few of his day to day jobs – has left Gergio “happy and fulfilled.”

“When I was assigned to Dallas I thought, oh boy how’s a Yankee gnome going to survive in Texas!  Turns out hospital-gnomin’ is hospital-gnomin’ no matter where you go.  Poking holes in sterile case carts, switching medication tubes in the tube system, you have to forget where you are and just cause chaos,” the ol’ hospital gnome said.

How'd these pills get out? GERGIO!
How’d these pills get out?  GERGIO!

Many times healthcare workers would get in yelling matches blaming each other and Gergio would be peeking through a nearby vent just laughing at the havoc he was causing.  “Sure I’ll miss this work.  I’ll probably head down to Belize, get me a beach house and just stick to myself.” Gergio never married; he was very committed to his work.

“I remember in 2011 I took the last of the scrubs, and Dr. Hughes was running a little behind, he searched for 30 minutes just to find something suitable to wear!  Is there a flood Dr. Hughes?  Why the highwaters? (Laughs).”  Gergio continued to laugh holding his stomach for a few minutes still taunting Dr. Hughes.

Gergio is famous for turning on patient call lights, code blue buttons, and eating Nurse Susan’s sandwich and Activia yogurt that she always labels, which helps Gergio eat the right one.  He says he’ll eat anyone’s food but love’s the bread Susan uses, it’s gluten free, and he’s trying to take gluten out of his diet.

One reporter asked Gergio to elaborate on his famous insulin tubing day. “Well, the patient was in DKA day 2 and I disconnected the insulin from the IV.  The nurse called the doctor 4 times to switch algorithms, finally when the rate was 142 units an hour and no change in his blood sugar, the doc came to the bedside.  He saw a large puddle in the bed, picked up the floating IV tube and said, ‘Let’s hook this up OK?’  Oh boy THAT was funny.”

Many hospital gnome experts think Gergio can’t stay away from his passion.  With the new opening in New York City, he would be able to move back home near family.

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