ICU nurse

Seasoned ICU Nurse Forces Interns to Hand Over Computer Password to Correctly Enter Orders

  • 6.8K

CHATTANOOGA, TN – Veteran ICU nurse, Susan Billings, has been working in the ICU for over 25 years now and she is fed up with inaccurate and dangerous orders written by new medical interns.  She has taken matters into her own hands.

ICU nurse
Just turn over your password, and the ICU nurses will take care of you

“On day one, I approach the new interns and I lay the law down,” said Billings.  “I look them straight in the eyes and tell them the only way they will survive this rotation and get any sleep is if they give me their username and password.”

Billings says usually the interns are very hesitant at first, but once they see the beauty of it, they embrace it.

“Basically, I will enter all the correct orders and what I need to take care of the patient.  Anything that they discuss on rounds that I don’t think is necessary or would inconvenience me, I can change or omit that order.”

“Q2 hour rectal tube output… Yeah, right.  I’ll change that to weekly, thank you very much,” said Billings.  “Oh, and you wanted to order 400 meq of potassium for that patient.  Nope, changing that to 40 meq.  Patient saved, go get some mandatory ACGME rest, intern.”

Sources say brand new doctors, otherwise known as interns, actually love it.  One intern that wishes to remain anonymous told reporters, “I used to respond to my pages with, ‘What do you think we should do?’ and then just do what the ICU nurse suggests.  Because honestly I had no clue.”  Now the interns are excited to avoid the awkward conversations followed by two or three call backs after some Google research.

Hospital ICU mortality has decreased since Billings started taking interns usernames and passwords, but the hospital has no clue why.  “They think survivability has increased due to new strict infection control policies, increased charting, and mandatory no-talk zones while taking out medications at the Pyxis,” said Billings.  “They have no clue that it is from ICU nurses entering correct orders instead of interns.”

  • Show Comments

  • Avatar

    Even though this article is fake the idea sounds great

  • Avatar


  • Avatar
    Elaine Hannah

    Hey Dr Google is my favorite physician.

  • Avatar
    Brian Deal

    I have seen google research during order entry

  • Avatar
    Jared Dunn

    Mandatory no-talk zones!! Hilarious!

  • Avatar
    Ginger Goettke


  • Avatar
    Andrew Davidson


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

Nurses Now Required to Chart When and What They Are Charting

27.9KSharesSILVER SPRING, MD – Tuesday, the American Nurses Association (ANA), the Society for Pediatric ...

female doctor

Advice for New Female Doctors

13KSharesNever touch your hair. It cannot be down, and it cannot look fancy. Optional ...

Breaking News: Surgery Accepts Blame

3.2KSharesFor the first time in recorded history, anesthesia blamed surgery for a poor case, ...

acute on chronic placement placement exacerbation

Patient Admitted for Placement Exacerbation

1.2KSharesNEW ORLEANS, LA – Gomerblog has learned 88-year-old patient Betty Waltuck was readmitted last ...

vending machine

New Pain Medication Vending Machine is Sure to Be a Hit

574SharesHAPPY VALLEY, CA – Administrators at Happy Valley Emergency Department are working together with ...