Elephant Complains of Chest Pain ‘Like a Human Sitting on My Chest’

NEW YORK, NY – At approximately 6:00 AM this morning, a local elephant named Eli the Elephant developed excruciating ten out of ten chest pain “like a human sitting on my chest,” with radiation down the left front leg and left tusk, with shortness of breath, nausea, and vomiting.  Eli the Elephant was admitted to an area hospital for further workup and testing.

“It’s the strangest thing,” stated Eli the Elephant, now relieved after three sublingual nitroglycerin pills and a full strength aspirin.  “Heart disease runs on both sides of the family and you always hear about humans and their chest pain symptoms.  It got me worried, now here I am.  Who knew?”

Eli the Elephant had been feeling well until a few months ago when he was placed into captivity.  He notes that being held in captivity is “somewhat stressful” and admits to coping in unhealthy manners, including smoking up to two packs of cigarettes per day, a heavy reliance on fast food chains, and watching too much television.  “I got away from my grasses and bark diet,” he commented.  When asked about his size, he said that he’s always been “big-boned.”

Eli the Elephant’s testing thus far reveals negative cardiac enzymes but his ECG notes flipped T waves in the lateral leads.  Given his family’s history of heart disease, he is currently considering cardiac catheterization to better elucidate his coronary anatomy.  He is waiting the results of several blood tests, including lipids and hemoglobin A1c.  An echocardiogram noted poor windows.

“You know, I did this to myself,” said Eli the Elephant.  “I have to accept the consequences and be positive and do everything I can to get through this.  It’s a new Eli from here on in.  Though this two gram sodium diet’s gonna be hard.”

Eli the Elephant’s family and friends have been supporting him through this difficult ordeal, including his wife Eleanor the Elephant, daughter Emily the Elephant, and his two closest friends Fred the Flamingo and Leon the Lion.

“Let this be a lesson learned to my fellow elephants,” said Eli the Elephant.  “Know the signs [the feeling of a human sitting on your chest] of possible heart attack so you can seek medical attention promptly.”

Eli the Elephant’s heart doctor, Carl the Cardiologist, said that Eli the Elephant was wise to recognize the symptoms of angina so quickly and his story may save the lives of other elephants down the road.  “He’s remarkable, Eli.  We’ll get him through this.”

Other members of Eli the Elephant’s team include Nina the Nurse, Taylor the Tech, and Henry the Hospitalist.