Thursday, July 9, 2020

New Narcan Reversal Agent, NarCANT, Hits the Market

CHICAGO, IL - After years of having their days ruined by jackwad paramedics and God-complexed ER nurses, opioid addicts everywhere rejoiced today at the availability of a new Narcan reversal agent.  NarCANT is the...

Daredevil Patient on Bed Jumps Through Ring of Fire

LAS VEGAS, NV - Patient Brian McDowell put on a show for the ages, as he became the first patient on a hospital bed to successfully leap through a ring of fire unscathed.  Performed during...
nipple twist above-the-nipples

Study: Titty Twist Better Pain Stimulus Than Sternal Rub

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Citing expert opinion and personal experience, the American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has put forth new recommendations on the pain stimulus - a technique used by health care providers to assess...
pizza patient transport

Inspira Health Systems Partners with Domino’s Pizza to Streamline Patient Transport

ANN ARBOR, MI - Capitalizing on their track record in efficient pizza delivery, Domino’s Pizza has recently branched out into the health care arena.  Following lengthy negotiations and many pepperoni pizzas, Inspira Health Systems...
flight nurse

Champion Flight Nurse Locates Previously Undiscovered Vein During Field Code, Places 16G IV

ROCKY CREEK UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL, STONY BROOK, NY - The worlds of anatomy and flight medicine were abuzz with an incredible feat of intravenous access by a flight nurse Ivy Star, who was able to...

Uber Boston Announces New Service in Partnership with Ambulance Drivers

BOSTON, MA – Ride-share company, Uber recently announced a new service in Boston called UberEMS.  The new pilot program will only be available to those with MassHealth, Medicare or Medicaid.  There will apparently be...
baywatch cpr

Surgical Chief Resident Calls for ‘Baywatch CPR’ on the 98-Year-Old Nursing Home Patient Admitted...

As the first wave of respondents to the “code blue” call arrived at the 7 North nursing station, Dr. Stephanie Smith was overheard saying, “OK people let’s make a good show of this thing”. Smith,...
intox in the er

NBC to Air Most Realistic Medical Show Since Scrubs, “INTOX”

NEW YORK, NY - In an effort to compete with CBS’s “Code Black,” next Friday NBC plans to air a brand new medical show called “INTOX” at 9 PM EST.  Critics are already calling...

EMS Company Offers Subscription-Based Service

INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Accessible Ambulance, a local EMS company, will soon roll out a new way to provide care for the greater Indianapolis community with subscription-based ambulance service.  The program is designed for patients who frequently...

EMS Now Being Dispatched to Transport Satisfaction Surveys‏

HUNTERSVILLE, NC - Last week, emergency medical crews accepted a new challenge in this suburban North Carolina community.  At the behest of health care administrators who decided that patient satisfaction data collection is "the...