Thursday, April 29, 2021



Shmedtronic Release New ICD-Pacemacer-WiFi Hotspot

ST. PAUL, MN - In response to patient feedback on how to make their medical devices even better, Shmedtronic is slated to release a new combined implantable cardioverter-defibrillator (ICD), permanent pacemaker (PPM),...
fellow on rounds

Cardiac Cath Clearance: A Rant from the Renal Fellow

Thank you very much for this very interesting consult for clearance for cardiac catheterization in this lovely man who is unfortunately having a myocardial infarction and needs some contrast dye. Even if his estimated...

Members of Congress may be in permanent cardiac arrest, study find

Washington (DC). Research published today revealed that many of our politicians may be essentially dead, or close to dead. The study used data mining to evaluate heart rate profile of Washington senators and representatives...

Spa Offers ‘Ultimate Relaxation’ With 55-Minute Carotid Sinus Massage

SANTA FE, MN - For guests who want to experience the ultimate in relaxation, the spa at the Inn of the Four Extremities is offering a 55-minute carotid sinus massage. It...
meatball sub appendix

Patient Undergoes Successful Prophylactic Cardiac Resection

NASHVILLE, TN - A patient has undergone successful prophylactic cardiac resection at Nashville Medical Center today in a “very proactive effort" to mitigate any future chance of developing cardiovascular disease, Gomerblog reports. 

Update: AHA Addends Recommended 90-Minute Door-to-Balloon Time for MI to Allow Cath Team 3...

SAN DIEGO, CA—For the cardiac catheterization team at San Diego General Hospital, compliance with the 90-minute door-to-balloon time metric for STEMI patients is a significant source of stress and anxiety. Thus, team members enthusiastically...
routine blood work urine A-fib B-minus

Not Impressed: Cards Downgrades A-Fib to B-Minus

BIRMINGHAM, AL - Completely unimpressed by his patient's routine ECG this morning, cardiologist Paul Framingham has formally downgraded the diagnosis from an A-fib to B-minus.  "It's not that...

Excitement of Black Hole Image Tempered by Concerns Over Galactic Coronary Artery Disease

Last month the first images of a black hole were released to the public. Early excitement was quickly tempered by concerns from a group of cardiologists. “While this signifies an enormous achievement in...
chest pain rule out toy elephant

Chest Pain Rule-Out: Patient with Stuffed Elephant Sitting on Chest

DANBURY, CT - A patient at Danbury Medical Center was admitted for chest pain rule out after he was complaining of a toy stuffed elephant sitting on his chest.
Amazon Echo

Cardiologist Extremely Disappointed by Amazon Echo

DALLAS, TX - Unable to visualize any cardiac images let alone make any useful observations about the human heart, a cardiologist at Baylor University Medical Center says he is extremely disappointed by...