physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Gastroenterologist Paged Record 35 Times While in Restroom

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KANSAS CITY, MO – In a stark development it has been reported that earlier this morning during a five-minute bathroom break, Dr. Timothy McFadden, a Gastroenterologist of Mount Sinai, was paged a record thirty-five times during a bowel movement.

At approximately 9:36 AM, Dr. McFadden received a thirty-fifth page before the toilet was flushed and the hospital erupted in defecatory jubilation.

physician on toilet
“Beep, beep, beep, beep, brrrrrrrrrrr”

If confirmed, this would shatter the previous record of thirty pages during a ten-minute bowel movement previously set by Dr. James Winter at The University of Washington Seattle in 2009.

“Your mindset changes with each page,” Dr. McFadden explained, washing his hands thoroughly while humming the Happy Birthday song.  “The first page, you think, ‘Of course.’  The second through tenth pages you’re furious.  Ten through twenty, it actually starts to become hilarious.  After twenty, I thought, ‘You know what, let’s have a good bowel movement without any complications.'”

Dr. McFadden is no stranger to rapid paging during bowel movements.  Just two months ago, he received twenty-four pages during a nine-minute bowel movement.  He admitted to getting too worked up and as a result, not only dropped his pager in the toilet but also wiped too hard, leading to some residual irritation and bleeding.

“A rookie mistake,” Dr. McFadden admits, grabbing his stethoscope and adjusting his tie.

When Dr. McFadden exited the bathroom at 9:37 AM, he was greeted with gloved high fives, yellow gowns, and sterile pats on the back.  He sarcastically thanked everyone for their support before promptly leaving the floor and deleting his pages.

Nurses on the floor who despise Dr. McFadden gleefully chuckled, “That’s what he deserves for being such a prick!  Who orders Lasix on a demented patient without a Foley anyways?”

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  • Show Comments

  • PJ Dew

    I played a joke on my attending. I’m a bit evil…… one of my elderly dementia patients would call out her caregiver’s name all night long, constantly. So, I taught her to yell for my attending instead. I told her that she had to yell for him, b/c he would be the only one who could help her. The rest of the night, she’s screaming, “Dr. ——–!!!!!” Then, the guy sitting across from her says, “He can’t hear you from in here. You need to yell louder (I hadn’t planned on this, but it added to the hilarity!), and HE starts yelling, “Dr. ——–!!” Both of them all night long. My attending threatened me with payback, to be sure!! LOL!

  • Jeremiah Johnson

    It’s the department chairman every time

  • David Ebler

    Clearly he doesn’t know the three task rule. Every time you are paged, the person who pages you gets three tasks. Change normal saline to ringers, get a set of orthostatic vitals and a weight. Next page change Ringer to D5 1/2, make sure the patient walks and q1hr vitals for 3 hours. The pages stop pretty quickly.

  • Kristine Hall

    Lauren Bylow please advise Chris.

  • Becky Jean Cunningham

    Maybe I’ll try this at work, thanks Dr. Gerke!!!!!!!

  • Tina Dymidowski

    LOL! Yes!!

  • zoethebun

    He had it coming…

  • Jody Allison

    I love the nurses reasoning for why they did it. LOL

  • Tabatha Smith

    I think some docs are just that way and others don’t know any better (yet).

  • Patrick DeHoff

    I’ve found that the best way to get a doc to call you back is take a potty run or a lunch.

  • Amanda Moore Rasool

    Ummmmm I’ve actually done this to an obnoxious resident. Paged her about ten times to ten different nonexistent numbers.

  • Carrie Oakley

    I am so guilty of this

  • Dhenesh Nadesalingham

    I dont understamd why doctors would treat their nurses terribly. I know it happens, but it seems to be the worst thing to do.

  • Anna Kaminski

    Love this!

  • Elena Clifford

    That’s just a nurse being nice too.

  • Marie Del

    Haha! I’m guilty

  • Teresa Selby

    Yeah , Don’t forget those Unit Secretaries . We know how to Text page those beeper’s !! So we can annoy with words too !!

  • Ambreen Raza

    Ridhwan Baba : happened at mount Sinai ! Watch out !

  • Mary Sparkes

    That 3 AM call for a Dulcolax

  • Marla Czechowski

    Kathleen Geary. Jenny Ferrera. Susan Mindel. I THINK I KNOW WHICH DOC IM DOING THIS TO.

  • Robin Ohren

    Marc Masotti

  • Cathy Sinclair

    Never piss off a nurse

  • James R. McCarty

    Happened to me many times when I was an intern.

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