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Before July 1, many of this year’s rookie class were considered average at best and were rarely selected in any rounds of fantasy leagues worldwide.  However, what we have witnessed in the first three months of the season is that it’s the rookies who are putting up the high numbers and the veterans who are struggling to find their games.  In this October 2014 edition, we focus on rookies and veterans and see who’s hot and who’s not.

fantasy medicineEnvironmental Services

Veteran and star environmental services associate Toby Walker had a rough start this year when he sustained a hamstring injury early in July while disinfecting a room with VRE.  After sitting out a few shifts, Walker has returned true to form, leading the league with a 29 minute average room turnover time (ARTT).  You can find no cleaner room in all of healthcare than one done by Walker.  His work ethic is unmatched.  Let’s hope his hamstring holds up. Hot: Walker.

Nurses

Rookie nurse Tamara Springfield started the season on the bench, but when turf toe put starter Chris Roberts on the 15-day DL (disabled list), Springfield stepped up to the floor and delivered big-time.  In a breakout fantasy performance in August, Springfield discharged a perfect 5 of 5 patients, leaving no patients stranded at the end of her shift.  One day later she made a tremendous diving catch, noting a patient without orders for DVT prophylaxis. Hot: Springfield.  

Nurse practitioners

Rookie ICU nurse practitioner Brian Thompson is a procedural phenom and is on pace to join the elite 100-100 Club: 100 central lines and 100 arterial lines successfully placed.  All the more impressive when you consider he has yet to fumble a single procedure kit.  He is currently leading the league in votes for this year’s All-Star Team.  Unfortunately, his counterpart Wes Peterson has had the opposite season, leading the Eastern Conference with 35 pneumothoraces thus far.  Sit Peterson for now until he shows signs of medical competence.  Hot: Thompson. Not: Peterson.

Phlebotomists

Six-year starter David Watts was benched last week when he accidentally hit a patient’s aorta during a routine blood draw.  First-year Ryan Waters has settled down after a jittery first performance in early July when two patients developed superficial thrombophlebitis.  Since then, Waters’ VAA (venous access average) is .986, which is tied for third-best this season and leads all rookies.  He has already risen to the ranks of go-to phlebotomists in pressure situations.  Hot: Waters. Not: Watts.

Physician Assistants

Rookie physician assistant Erica Blackstone made headlines last week when she cleaned house in her 10-bed observation unit with 10 straight discharges in 10 hours. She was 30 minutes away in her bid for a perfect day when it was broken-up by a late admission from the ED.  Blackstone will likely be a major factor down the road, especially in the event of a playoff push.  On the other hand, veteran Bill Oxford continues to have major struggles, time and again forgetting to admit or discharge patients, therefore bringing up the question of retirement.  At the very least, he’s a fantasy dud.  Free up space on your team and let Oxford go.  Hot: Blackstone. Not: Oxford.

Physicians

Surgical intern Mike Granger has been on a tear this season, completing 100% of his progress notes while showing complete mastery of surgical knots. Veteran surgical oncologist Rick Foster remains a surprise disappointment, leading the league with 6 incomplete surgeries and 4 patients intercepted by internal medicine.  In the ED, intern Brittany Rivers has demonstrated her cool under pressure, successfully resuscitating 8 out of 15 patients in the past 10 days without showing any signs of slowing down.  First-year cardiology fellow Jacob Johnson has underperformed because of his conservative management, bringing in few fantasy points.  A better choice is co-fellow Jared Turner, who has a stellar 0.973 SPR (stent-to-patient ratio) since starting in late August.  Ten-year hospitalist Henry Edelman has had a horrific start to his 2014 campaign, marred by the league’s worst readmission rate of 98%.  The signs were there early when he missed training camp and showed up all of July without a stethoscope.  Do not be surprised if he is demoted back to the minor leagues or residency.  Hot: Granger, Rivers, Turner. Not: Foster, Johnson, Edelman. 

Social Workers

Darren Mitchell continues to perform like the 10-time All Star that he is. His streak of 98 consecutive placements within 7 days of admission goes unmatched.  Yesterday, he broke another all-time record by helping place 8 patients at the same subacute rehabilitation facility.  This year’s rookie social worker with the most upside is Myra West.  She sports an impressive collegiate resume and during her first weekend call managed to arrange home health 15 times without a glitch.  She may certainly get more playing time if starting social worker Karen Roberts ends up being suspended indefinitely by the league for use of performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs).  Though that’s bad news for Roberts, that’s great news for fantasy owners if West is still available.  Hot: Mitchell, West.  Not: Roberts.

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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