urology awkard

Let Me Have at Your Johnson

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EXAM ROOM 4, UROLOGY CLINIC – Hello, sir.  You seem a little bit nervous.  Well, there’s no need for that, I can assure you.  After medical school I spent the better part of a decade to become a specialist in this particular area.  You’ve come to the right place.  I can help.  Just sit back, relax, and let me have at your Johnson.

urology awkard
Relax… just let me have at your Johnson

Look, I understand you might be a little uncomfortable with this situation.  It’s awkward to be with a stranger who is about to know literally everything there is to know about your wang.  It must seem odd to you that I’m an expert on something as specific as tallywhackers.  Or maybe you’re having trouble coming to terms with fact that I spend my time fiddling with other men’s giggle berries.  But that’s what I do, sir.  All day long.  This is my actual job.

I can, and will, be all over your junk.

Call your weewee whatever you want.  No term of affection will sway me from the task at hand.  In just a moment, I will be mere inches away from your entire situation.  I’ll be attentively peering at your ding-dong, no matter how misshapen, discolored, scabby, or malodorous it happens to be.  Is it known as Mr. Happy, perhaps?  Ankle Spanker? Rosebud, even?  No matter.  I’ve heard them all.  And this bright fluorescent lighting is going to fully illuminate Mr. Tinky so I can see him in all his glorious detail.

That is what I am paid for.  Don’t be shy, sir.  Let the pink tiger out of his cage.  I am a renowned, professional pecker checker.

Never fear.  I will not be taken aback by the sight of an extremely tiny wiener.  I will not blink when faced with even the most gigantic of schlongs.  If you consistently pee at right angles, I will not be shocked.  Should you be missing one or even both family jewels, I will diligently palpate your empty coin purse.  There is nothing I…

What’s that?  You’re here because of a kidney tumor?  Oh, well, I take those out too.  Ahem… This is awkward.  Why don’t you, um go ahead… Gulp, and pull up your pants.

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  • The Punky-Looking Kiddo

    As a fourteen month-old infant and licensed surgeon, the Punky-Looking Kiddo offers a truly unique perspective on the worlds of healthcare and modern medicine. With a combination of both wit and humor, he...oh wait. I just crapped myself. And I'm hungry. SOMEONE PICK ME UP!

  • Show Comments

  • Avatar
    Rusty Shappley

    Well-played!

  • Avatar
    Marilee Reynolds Higgins

    Bwahahaha

  • Avatar
    Kelly Healy

    Alex Shteynshlyuger

  • Avatar
    Kelly Healy

    Thanks Jillan Sackett!

  • Avatar
    Kelly Healy

    Jenny Alff

  • Avatar
    Jillan Sackett

    Daniel Dean Sackett Kelly Healy

  • Avatar
    MarNette Echem-Flores

    Pecker checker! Hahaha!

  • Avatar
    Lori Schultz McLeod

    LOL… Synopsis of my day.

  • Avatar
    Brandi Hicks

    Dan Morilla

  • Avatar
    Sarah Brown

    Brittany Simpson Kryste Sturm Cana Duran

  • Avatar
    Ray Williams

    Edward Schatte too funny!

  • Avatar
    Paul Diaz

    Maria Falcon-Cantrill

  • Avatar
    Rye Ellen

    Rusty Shappley, I couldn’t help but think of you!
    :)

  • Avatar
    Amy Arouni Peltz

    This made me LOL!

  • Avatar
    Jeremy Wade

    Ha ha… “Tally-whacker.”

  • Avatar
    Carole Bryant

    Cute. Very educational site. I learned some new words today, which I’m sure I can use.

  • Avatar
    Tess Smith

    Haha! So much medical terminology!

  • Avatar
    happyhospitalist

    Lol. Learned a few new words today

  • Avatar
    Kristine Hickman

    Lol Troy Michael Sofinowski

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