medical white coat

Resident’s White Coat Shortened in New Public Shaming Tactic

HOUSTON, TX – In an imaginative new tactic to publicly shame his residents, orthopedic surgeon Dr. Scott Winslow has started reducing the length of his resident’s white coats for each mistake made.

medical white coat
“Looks like you messed up that TPN order, snip, snip”

“It all started after a tough day of work,” explains Dr. Winslow.  “One of my residents was really pissing me off that day for whatever reason, so when I got home, I sat on my couch thinking of ways to shame the guy.  All of a sudden this genius plan came to mind.”

The “genius plan” Dr. Winslow devised entails removing strips of his residents’ white coats with shears for each mistake made.

“Think about it,” says Dr. Winslow.  “I’ve got a long coat, but I’m the boss.  I don’t make mistakes.  Why should they have the same coat privileges that I do?  This way, everyone can see how many mistakes they’ve made, and their public humiliation will prevent them from making any more.”

One resident in particular, Dr. Christopher Seymour, has been hit the hardest by Dr. Winslow’s new coat-shortening policy.

“I was having a really rough week.  I was holding the instruments wrong in the OR, cutting knots too short, then too long.  I was a disaster and Winslow was furious.  We get to rounds the next day, and to make up for the day prior, I quickly ran to gather all the vitals on all the patients.  I wrote down all the ins, but guess what?  I forgot the outs.  As soon as Dr. Winslow realized my mistake, he threw down his papers, walked over to the desk and grabbed shears.  He made me turn around and took two-inches off the back of my coat in front of everyone.  It was humiliating.”

“My god, that was a glorious moment,” recalls a triumphant Dr. Winslow.  “One of those times you really get to show everyone how in-charge you truly are.”

But not everyone is as thrilled with the new shaming tactic, least of all, Dr. Seymour.

“Over the last two weeks, my coat’s just gotten shorter and shorter.  It doesn’t even reach my belt line anymore.  Yesterday, the med student ordered me to grab him some gauze and a kerlix.  The med student, for god’s sake.  I used to be the senior on the team, now I’m the supply mule.  I can’t even use my pockets to carry stuff because they’ve been cut off!”

Surgery departments throughout the hospital are taking note of the policy and are in the process of implementing similar tactics.  One attending was overheard saying, “Why didn’t we think of this genius idea before!”

Many are already speculating that the ACGME will not be happy and will soon publish minimum lengths for white coat lengths to protect residents.

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    Once a wide-eyed and idealistic physician in-training, Dr. Cokinsox McTavington had his soul crushed and subsequently hardened after roughly 3 and 1/2 shifts in the ED. Now, no longer giving even one shit, he’s turned into an oxycodone and Percocet dispensing machine seeking to rid the world of intractable lower back pain, while simultaneously keeping his Press Ganey scales sky-high. In short, he’s that bastard you always wished you could be, but never quite had the stones. In his spare time he keeps himself busy daydreaming about other careers, crying in the corner alone, and of course, writing for Gomerblog.

  • Show Comments

  • Avatar
    Patti Witmer-Adams

    The short coats are coming! The short coats are coming!

  • Avatar
    Chris Meduri

    We looked so ridiculous.

  • Avatar
    Josh Gordon

    Sounds about par for the course

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    Gomerblog

    Oh that is just classic!

  • Avatar
    Lisa Creech
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    Kerry Foley

    hilarious…..

  • Avatar
    Toshiko Atsuta

    CNSC!

  • Avatar
    Kerri Herbert Beck

    Or your clinical dietitian :)

  • Avatar
    Scott Welle

    Glad we didn’t that when I was a resident.. Would’ve been wearing just a shaw over my shoulders…

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    Emmett Marianos

    Lol

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    Amanda Boursin

    LOL!

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    Maria Westbeld Thomas

    In my 7 yrs as a nurse I’ve never received WRONG tpn from the pharmacy.

  • Avatar
    Casca

    Did they do a time out before they cut ?

  • Avatar
    Casca

    It’s scary

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    Casca

    ITS. A . SATIRE. WEBSITE
    Get it ?

  • Avatar
    Kelly Hunter

    Thankfully my program gives me three coats per yeR

  • Avatar
    Tinuade Okoro

    Lol

  • Avatar
    Aitch Pea

    Never? That’s a bold statement.

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    Megan Hedlund

    And they’re still never correct!

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    Dave Baulesh

    can’t mess up those TPN orders! Call your pharmacist.:)

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    Dave Baulesh

    can’t mess up those TPN orders! Call your pharmacist.:)

  • Avatar
    Lawrence T Rozanski Jr
  • Avatar
    Lawrence T Rozanski Jr
  • Avatar
    Darlene Eltora Grecsek

    Lol

  • Avatar
    Darlene Eltora Grecsek

    Lol

  • Avatar
    Nadine Richards Blair

    Do people realize this is satirical??? Hilarious!!!

  • Avatar
    Alyssa Camarena Schneidt

    You know this is a satire website, right? As in fake? *facepalm*

  • Avatar
    Liz Williams

    That’s ridiculous. As if that jackass never made a mistake as a resident, or as an attending. That’s why you’re in training!

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    Ylbe Franco

    I can see you doing this Dr Picconi!!

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    Aitch Pea

    Pharmacist-managed TPNs for the win!

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    Leonard Armstrong

    You don’t have to mess up TPN orders to be treated with such disrespect. Just be a surgery resident at Emory or Duke.

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    Marlene Downing

    I have a short dentist and she wears white lab coat. long – she looks like a little monk.. cute and I love her.. as much as u can love a dentist LOL

  • Avatar
    Theresa Terri Higginbotham-Torretti

    Gomerblog is the best!

  • Avatar
    Jeffrey Thomas

    Chris Meduri Sharif Halim Andrew N. Rassi Robi Goswami

  • Avatar
    Phil Thrush

    Didn’t read this yet, but isn’t the title just referencing Duke Med Center???

  • Avatar
    Jeb Tepe

    Sounds like a great way to exacerbate the mental health issues plaguing the medical training system. Maybe this attending should focus on being a better teacher instead of glorying in his resident’s shame.

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    Jason Cint

    I have this image of a Marine DI as an Attending making the residents do push ups while their coats are being trimmed up.

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    Bill Clark

    Uh. Those don’t look like JCAHO approved scissors. They appear to be actually cutting and that’s dangerous

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    Cheryl Zirger

    Awesome!

  • Avatar
    Crystal Carter

    Hilarious….It’s amazing how many think this blog is real….

  • Avatar
    Melissa Olivadoti

    Sounds like the prof is on a power trip!

  • Avatar
    Brooke Boswell Holmes
  • Avatar
    Sarah Richards

    Mansoor Jatoi

  • Avatar
    Matthew Hahn

    The day of med school graduation, I took my short white coats out and burned them!

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