operation exam

American Board of Surgery Replaces Qualifying & Certifying Exams with Board Game Operation

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – In stark contrast to the recent stringent and controversial criteria for Maintenance of Certification (MOC) set by the American Board of Internal Medicine (ABIM) for internists and subspecialists, the American Board of Surgery (ABS) announced last week that it is replacing qualifying and certifying exams for surgeons with the board game Operation.

operation exam
Bring your own board game for the exam…should only be $19.99

“The ABIM really upset their doctors with the MOC changes, so we decided to learn from that experience, take it in another direction, and make it less serious and more fun!” explained ABS spokesperson Brock Forceps, as he removed a Charley Horse with intense focus and precision.  “Who doesn’t love a game of Operation?!”

Previously, surgeons became board certified by passing the qualifying exam (QE) of 300 multiple-choice questions and passing the subsequent certifying exam (CE) of several oral cases.  Under the new system, surgeons become board certified if they can successfully remove three of Cavity Sam’s ailments using metal tweezers in under one hour.

“I had removed his Adam’s Apple and Wrenched Ankle within the first ten minutes,” said general surgeon Erica Bovie.  “It seemed like smooth sailing.  But just when I thought I had his Wish Bone, the buzzer went off and Sam’s nose turned red.  I was so ashamed!”  Though Bovie was offered the opportunity to take the exam again, she respectfully declined and instead plans to repeat her surgical residency and retake the exam in five years.

“I went for the Spare Ribs, Broken Heart, and Butterflies in the Stomach,” said vascular surgeon Jason Retractor, still perspiring.  “I know this is a game and all, but man, I was more nervous than my first trauma case!”

“I’m jealous of these surgeons,” said internist Christopher Booksmart, who was consulted by Retractor for medical clearance prior to his exam.  Booksmart recommended placing two AA batteries before proceeding with Operation.  “I wanna play!”

Though surgeons are generally in favor of the new board certification system, calling it “fair and fun,” some admit the $4,000 exam fee is a bit much.

“I’m pretty sure the original board game didn’t cost that much,” commented pediatric surgeon Joanna Staplegun.  “YES!  I got the Writer’s Cramp!  I’m on FIRE!  What should I do next: the Funny Bone or Brain Freeze?  OHMIGOD!  I LOVE THIS GAME!!!”

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

  • Show Comments

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    Steve Roshia Jr.

    Yes but that would cut electrical impulses to the heart i cant have him dieing on the table

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    or taking the battery out

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    Steve Roshia Jr.

    I just hack the game by iv pushing lidocaine

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    Elena Clifford

    Recommend that next time they take the exam, that they shouldn’t go on a bender the night before and do the exam while in DT’s.

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    Andrea Clayton Larkin

    As is should have been, all those years past

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    Kaaren NM

    Yes, yes, yes!

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    Cheryl Hawkins

    That is great!

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    Andre Sookdar

    What about those surgeons who use diathermy like a sharpie all over the patient?

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    Su McKenzie

    Sweet. Now my 6 yr old can do the lap chole it takes my general surgeon 3 hrs to do…

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    Kari Rezac-westenkirchner

    I got Operation game “for my kids” for Xmas. They changed the game and made it super easy!!! The holes are shallow and wide presenting zero challenge.

  • Avatar
    Tracie Redmond Hutto

    OMG, too funny!!!

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