hospital scrub sizes

Color-Coded Scrub Ties Lead to Epidemic of ‘Scrub Shaming’

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NASHVILLE, TN – Neurologist Dr. Allison Terazzoni glides through the hallways of Vanderbilt invisibly, staring at the ground, praying to go unnoticed, her white coat impeccably buttoned at the waist.  The ploy works, until she arrives at room N.340—contact precautions!  Furtively she shrugs off her lab coat and slides into the warm embrace of a yellow, completely bacteria-proof gown, but not before a flash of pink is seen by all, waving like a million-watt beacon against the placid aqua background of her scrubs.

hospital scrub sizes“O.M.G.,” shrieks ward nurse Celina Oh.  “Pink! Can you believe it!  Allison—in pink!”  By lunchtime the hospital is abuzz with the news, and when Dr. Terazzoni settles down with her lunch (a cup of ice chips and a packet of saltines), it’s all by herself.  “It’s Wednesday,” she says, with a wan smile.  “I thought on Wednesday, you had to wear pink.”

For years, the hierarchy has been drilled into workers at the nation’s hospitals: Yellow > Brown > White > Pink > Green.  (And is there something that comes after green?  It’s too horrible to even contemplate).

“It’s like walking around with a giant sign on your back saying ‘OK, I really like Cheetos,'” says anesthesia tech Dan Navarro, himself sporting white-tied scrubs.  “Yeah,” chimed in pharmacist Marissa Myers, “I mean, it doesn’t mean you’re an inferior person or anything… but seriously, pink?!  I stayed in browns all the way through my pregnancy.  With twins.  And polyhydramnios.”

Some staff have been forced to resort to desperate ploys to retain their coveted position on the chromo-hierarchy.  One surgical resident was found furtively suturing together two pairs of yellow-tied pants, but the telltale “subdermal” seam pattern betrayed her.

Human resources departments have instituted mandatory empathy training to reduce institutional biases, including “Color Acceptance” days where all scrub machines were reprogrammed to automatically distribute the pink size, but critics say that eliminating the rigid thinking regarding hierarchy and class might take generations.

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  • Avatar
    Lo Ann

    Matt Colburn

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    Jay Dee

    So much for satire!! This is so true!

  • Avatar
    David Anthony

    Hahaha… I wear a blue tagged bottom and yellow tagged top.

    A surgeon I know wears pink…and he’s about 450lbs. I always wondered what size that was. Now I know!

  • Avatar
    Jenness Kooiman

    Lol..Catherine Wilkins. I immediately thought of your when reading this! I will never forget that day. It still makes me laugh…

  • Avatar
    Caren Crane Reaves

    How about when the hospitals change manufacturers and the old yellow is the new brown??? Lots of “Oh, hell no!” heard in the locker rooms, lol.

  • Avatar
    Brooke Ainsley

    lmao

  • Avatar
    Karyn Lyn

    I’m not convinced this is satire…. ;)

  • Avatar
    Sara Brumfield Castline

    So true!

  • Avatar
    Danielle Elayne

    This is awesome

  • Avatar
    Nancy Jean

    Michael Berk haha no no not the yellow don’t try the yellow

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    Cathleen Barber

    Lol. This is so true. When I worked ER we had the royal blue scrubs with the color coded piping on the tops and color coded ties in the pants. I was always ashamed of my blue piping (XL) and longed to strut around in Orange (S). ☺️

  • Avatar
    Jayy Cee

    Brandon Dairo Matt Sinclair Steven Bradley

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    Stephen Bailey

    Isn’t there a saying about real men wearing pink though???? Or did I dream that up??? Yep I’m all about the 2 and 3 XL version…… Mean old old old ER nurse/bouncer that I’ve been…

  • Avatar
    Betsy Nich

    lol.

  • Avatar
    Andrea Milne

    Anne!!

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