Faux Hawk-Sporting Orthopedist Inspires Confidence In His Patients

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OMAHA, NE – Dr. Rory Holloway, an orthopedic surgeon hailing from Nebraska, recently received the state’s physician of the year award for the third straight year. Dr. Holloway operates chiefly out of Lincoln and specializes chiefly in knees, although he is known to operate on broken bones of all varieties and claims to have performed his wife’s first breast augmentation.  The award is based on post-encounter patient polls, which reveal that his average patient is happier than a podiatrist working in a VA.

"Any broken bones anywhere?"
“Any broken bones anywhere?”

We at The Pannus set out to demystify the legend and found that chief factor boosting Dr. Holloway’s success was not his bedside manner.  Nor was it his patient-centered outcomes (statistics report these are quite average).  Rather, it was Dr. Holloway’s elegant hair.  More simply put, his Faux hawk.

Even more simply put, the manner in which he forms the hair on opposite sites of his head into equally angled inclined planes that form a razor sharp edge which perfectly bisects his body is the reason patients love him.  Sometimes, however, he likes to mess it up a bit in the middle after an intense workout in the gym to help give that “I just had a killa workout” look.

“At first I thought it was the Chinese character tattooed on his neck – Well, probably Chinese but definitely Asian – that made me confident he’s a great surgeon,” bubbled 76-year-old Rebecca Ledbetter, swaying slightly on her 2 prosthetic hips.  “But I then I realized it was his perfect hair!  That tattoo probably means courage… or strength or something.”

“I think it is all his Livestrong wristbands,” commented a twenty-something with a recently repaired left ACL.  “The way he rocks 5 per wrist is really special.  Those really demonstrate how dedicated he is to, you know, charity and being unique and stuff.  Oh and have you ever seen a sleeveless white coat?  Super hot.  I almost tipped.”

So to conclude, we are not sure if Faux hawks make better doctors or just hotter doctors, but one particular surgeon is sure making it warmer in Nebraska.

If you enjoyed this article, be sure to check out The Pannus for more great articles.

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    Founded on ideals as American as nachos, spaghetti, and the Louisiana Purchase, The Pannus pledges allegiance to the Consumer, who is hard work hard everyday to keep healthcare professionals in business

  • Show Comments

  • Avatar
    Eric Lerche

    As an orthopedic surgeon the hardest thing about scrubbing into cases is worrying that my spray tan will come off.

  • Avatar
    Anton Furman

    Trevor Crean

  • Avatar
    Craig Edward Moe

    As an orthopaedic surgeon, I commonly complain that they don’t have mirrors in the OR.

  • Avatar
    Brittany Ward

    Don Noel Jr., I believe pink hair is actually more confident inspiring haha

  • Avatar
    Don Noel Jr.

    Brittany Ward Layne H Paul Geoff Skraber

  • Avatar
    Jody Madden

    Do they teach this stuff during ortho residency? Or do they get it in a fellowship?

  • Avatar
    Courtney Stine

    Does he do cross fit?
    (Also, it’s faux-hawk. As in fake Mohawk.)

  • Avatar
    Adam Christensen

    Sy Oh

  • Avatar
    Becky Lauderdale Nelson

    Faux-hawk

  • Avatar
    Dan Brancheau

    Drew D. Moore I think you need to go this route for your patients

  • Avatar
    Audrey Sakae

    Mike Plakke lucky thing you wear a cap

  • Avatar
    Courtney Brady

    Loving the sleeveless white coat idea. Might need to start a new trend Kari Lindsey Messer.

  • Avatar
    Rustin Massoudi

    Arash Calafi

  • Avatar
    Kari Lindsey Messer

    Arjun Kadaba Jamie Strawser Srinath

  • Avatar
    Korie Haifley Cochran

    Time for a second opinion.

  • Avatar
    Maria Federico Madonick

    I spit out my coffee.

  • Avatar
    David Potter

    ha ha ha. Why is this blog so accurate

  • Avatar
    Alysha Smid Di Mauro

    Korie Haifley Cochran maybe he should be your ortho doc…

  • Avatar
    Michael Hailey

    I bet he can throw a SWEET lion- tamer on granny needing a hip reduction!

  • Avatar
    Mike Plakke

    Audrey Sakae

  • Avatar
    Matt Wexler

    My FB legacy in 50 years will be hundreds of tags for trendy haircuts and underwear modelling. Thanks man.

  • Avatar
    Ashish Patel

    Darren

  • Avatar
    Saad Mohammad

    Matt Wexler Alex Highstein Jesse Edelsberg a must read

  • Avatar
    Saad Mohammad

    David Potter

  • Avatar
    Judy Dale

    Have a cardiologist that has one

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