pinecones

Wilderness Medicine Residency Approved by ACGME, Offers to Pay Trainees in Pine Cones

  • 481
    Shares

BURLINGTON, VT – Enter the profession of wilderness medicine – every closeted survivalist’s dream come true and a quaint throwback to an era where it was socially acceptable to drink pine tar and turpentine to treat asthma.  Now, six months after the inauguration of the new Vermont-based program, educators and students of the founding class offer to share their experiences.

“We try to be as hands-on with our residents as possible,” notes Dr. Markowitz, fanatic abseiler and Associate Dean of the budding program.  “That’s why we strip our residents of all their cellphones and clothes, and then drop them off a helicopter in the middle of the Green Mountains with nothing but a half-eaten candle, four Steri-Strips and a G-tube for orientation.”

With such rigorous training, it should be no surprise that acceptance to the program is highly competitive.  The average USMLE Step 1 score for matriculates this year was 245 with a standard deviation of ten points.  In addition to strong academic performance, applicants are notably and horrifyingly diverse in their backgrounds outside of medical school.  Many have had previous experiences with mountaineering and ski rescue patrol, and approximately 80% of the freshman class has also had rabies.

At its core, however, the class mentality is more about creativity than competitiveness. Instead of pagers, for instance, residents are encouraged to use low-register bird whistles to communicate remotely with each other.  Long distance consult calls are made using secure carrier pigeons, and if those pigeons are eaten or shot, secure smoke signals are used instead.  “When the forest is your hospital, or say, a 5 million-year-old cave sealed off by an avalanche is your NICU, sometimes you have to think outside of the box,” explains PGY-1 Tate Williams.

Fellow resident Michaela Hansen agrees.  “I once used a conch shell as a makeshift stethoscope,” says Michaela.  “In addition to hearing the ocean, I was also able to hear a 2/5 systolic heart murmur.”

The futures of these new physicians looks bright, if not a little treacherous.  “Based on current testing estimates and student feedback, we anticipate a 100% retention rate, but an 85% survival rate,” explains Dean Markowitz.  “Unfortunately, there will always be those one to two students who inexplicably vanish during our Deep Sea Cave Pain Management rotation.”

Residency applications for the new wilderness medicine rotation can be submitted via the Electronic Residency Application Service (ERAS).

image_pdfimage_print
  • Gomerblog Team

    This author is actually a group of authors that contribute. Many famous Gomerblog authors have published here later to have their works printed under their real name. Maybe one day you too could be part of the Gomerblog team

  • Show Comments

You May Also Like

Frank Blood

Hi There, My Name is Frank Blood, What’s Yours?

308SharesWhy hello there!  My name is Frank, Frank Blood.  How are you doing today? ...

periorbital mass nose

Ophtho Relieved That Periorbital Mass Is Just the Patient’s Nose

500SharesAUGUSTA, GA – Thanks to the assistance of both Oncology & ENT, a local ...

retriever in hospital

Allergy-Sniffing Dog Weeds Out Dilaudid-Seeking Liars

56.3KSharesATLANTIC CITY, NJ – Rollda-Dice Hospital’s ED now sees an extra fifty patients a ...

Stellar Med Student Amasses 4,986 Letters of Recommendation

278SharesBOSTON, MA – Considered to be the Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, and Serena Williams ...