drive thru
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ATLANTA, GA – An urgent care center in Atlanta, GA will be the first in the nation to provide drive-thru service as part of a new, innovative way to increase health care efficiency.  Instead of the traditional approach to patient care which involved lengthy registration and wait times, patients are now able to remain in their vehicles, register by speakerphone with an RN similarly to those used at fast-food establishments.

drive thruThey state their chief complaint and give their full medical history, family’s medical histories, social history, allergies, and current medications.  Then the patient drives forward to the next available window to see the provider and repeat everything they just told the nurse.  The provider is able to diagnose most ailments through the window, thanks in part to new extra long stethoscopes being made by Littmann for this very purpose.

“We saw an emerging market that demands longer tubing to reach patients seated in their vehicles.  We simply cornered the market early and expect to see sales rise quickly as this concept catches on,” stated a spokesperson for Littmann.  Finally, patients pull forward to a machine which prints work excuses and dispenses the ordered medications.

“I really appreciate the convenience of it,” remarked one local resident.  “When I have kids in the car and just picked up groceries, I don’t have time to go inside to have my sinuses checked.  I have ice cream melting in the back and just need antibiotics.”

Employees are also enthusiastic about the change.  “After years of ICU residency, medicine has become much easier.  Even suturing is a breeze.  I had a patient just reach his hand through his car window and onto the table.  I gave him 4 mg of IM morphine for pain, blocked his finger, gave him 6 stitches and he drove off.  No sweat.”

Urgent dare director Dr. Robert Norton sees another advantage: “We will likely see a positive trend in Press Ganey scores.  Treat ’em and street ’em!  But of course more critical patients are not seen in the drive thru.  We had a man complain of shortness of breath and chest discomfort.  His lips and fingers were turning blue and he was sweating.  We directed him to the nearest ER 17 miles down the freeway.  The poor guy probably just worked out too hard before coming in and needed IV fluids to rehydrate.”

The brainchild of this revolution, Dr. Ethan Thornsen, imagines the concept will develop even further.  “Since the recent shift in medicine to patient-centered care, we believe it would be best to empower patients to choose their own treatment. We retrofitted 2 soda machines to dispense medications.  One is for antibiotics, and the other is for pain medications.  Patients typically know what worked best the last time they were hurt or sick and what they are allergic to.  Unfortunately, the pain medication machine was stolen after 2 days.  We are working to replace it promptly.”  Area health care establishments are taking note and progressing with plans of their own.

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  • Eric J. Carbonell

    I’d like the Number 4 with Alfrapolam, Vicoden and supersize it with a SSDI form that my lawyer gave me to give to you and do it during your lunch break or better yet while you are on vacation and I need it done by 430 today because I have court tomorrow morning, oh and add a side of FMLA for my wife- make it for 90 days please. We are going to Europe to visit family and won’t be back until September when the kiddos start private school.

  • Eric J. Carbonell

    I’d like the Number 4 with Alfrapolam, Vicoden and supersize it with a SSDI form that my lawyer gave me to give to you and do it during your lunch break or better yet while you are on vacation and I need it done by 430 today because I have court tomorrow morning, oh and add a side of FMLA for my wife- make it for 90 days please. We are going to Europe to visit family and won’t be back until September when the kiddos start private school.

  • Pam Logsdon Simmons

    Ha ha! A high percentage would probably have no need for a work excuse!

  • Michelle Temme

    Unbelievable …. Really

  • David White

    Its time has come

  • Frances Ann Adams

    Dessert is Narcan, Romazicon parfait!

  • Frances Ann Adams

    Dessert is Narcan, Romazicon parfait!

  • Frances Ann Adams

    Dessert is Narcan, Romazicon parfait!

  • Frances Ann Adams

    Dessert is Narcan, Romazicon parfait!

  • Frances Ann Adams

    Dessert is Narcan, Romazicon parfait!

  • Frances Ann Adams

    Dessert is Narcan, Romazicon parfait!

  • Jenniffer Carter Blair

    Awesome combo meal!

  • Jenniffer Carter Blair

    Awesome combo meal!

  • Jenniffer Carter Blair

    Awesome combo meal!

  • Jenniffer Carter Blair

    Awesome combo meal!

  • Jenniffer Carter Blair

    Awesome combo meal!

  • Jenniffer Carter Blair

    Awesome combo meal!

  • Danielle Kauffman Klatt

    I’d like a double quarter pounder with cheese with a diet coke and phenergan, I’m a little nauseated

  • Holly Freuler

    Well they now so call ahead ED seating, so perhaps this isn’t that far off. :)

  • Laurel Phares

    too funny!

  • Kathy Bragg

    So true!!!!!

  • Cathy Olmsted

    Mary Walters

  • Lisa Nocella

    Only if it’s covered by my medical !

  • Lisa Nocella

    I’ll have a #3, super sized, dilaudid po, my disability extended and some taxi vouchers…..right now !!!!!

  • Virginia Gillispie

    Great idea! People could order what they want and cut through the over-dramatization of symptoms, saving everyone time and headaches!

  • Diane Doyle

    Awesome

  • Sophie Holford

    Seriously?!

  • Sophie Holford

    Seriously?!

  • Omar Garza

    It seems to be what people expect.

  • Omar Garza

    It seems to be what people expect.

  • Mary Debord

    Haha

  • Mary Debord

    Haha

  • Gabriel Hacker

    Omar Garza!

  • Gabriel Hacker

    Omar Garza!

  • Gabriel Hacker

    Omar Garza!

  • Phil Petty

    You want fries with that? Combine the two. Fast food and drugs at the same window. Life is good.

  • Phil Petty

    You want fries with that? Combine the two. Fast food and drugs at the same window. Life is good.

  • Phil Petty

    You want fries with that? Combine the two. Fast food and drugs at the same window. Life is good.

  • Freida Fontenot
  • Shannon Lafave

    they would LOVE it lol

  • Jyc Jyc

    You guys always hit the nail on the head!

  • Sara Leiner

    Shannon let’s send some of our pts there.

  • Sara Leiner

    This page posts some crazy shit.

  • Shannon Lafave

    WOW! thats all i got for this one

  • Dawn Catalano-Heckman

    Benadryl IV that is ;)

  • Ryan Holland

    And none of that generic crap!

  • Ryan Holland

    Yea, Um im in pain. I need Oxy, Norco or Heroin. ow ow ow…

  • Sara Leiner

    Wow…. Amber Shannon Melissa Brook Natasha Danielle Ryan Mellisa this is crazy!!!

  • Marlene Saucedo

    Hahaha, what next????

  • Marlene Saucedo

    Hahaha, what next????

  • Angelia Russell

    All you really need is three boxes- one with work notes, another with Ativan, and the last with dilaudid. Don’t even need a while window do that mess

  • Angelia Russell

    All you really need is three boxes- one with work notes, another with Ativan, and the last with dilaudid. Don’t even need a while window do that mess

  • Zehra Heisenberg

    Jessica Lovel, Jessica Foster, Angela Potts Contorno

  • Zehra Heisenberg

    Jessica Lovel, Jessica Foster, Angela Potts Contorno

  • Chintu Sharma

    Vikash Mishra they must have heard about the er baggy

  • Desiree Dwyer Spellings

    Dying LOL….

  • Amanda Boursin

    …that I called for with my brand new iPhone 6s

  • Sarah Wallace

    Haha yes! Free with any upgraded order ;)

  • Gabriel Cade

    And a pregnancy test.

  • Patricia Croake

    I can’t sleep at nite. May I have some propofol with a side of Valium so I don’t twitch?

  • Connie McLaughlin Melrose

    We always see people buying a cart full of crap with a antacid all with it.

  • Connie McLaughlin Melrose

    We always see people buying a cart full of crap with a antacid all with it.

  • Kevin Michael Melrose

    Incredibly poor medical care to go. Fabulous idea!!!

  • Kevin Michael Melrose

    Incredibly poor medical care to go. Fabulous idea!!!

  • Lesley TheBrit

    Brilliant.

  • Lesley TheBrit

    Brilliant.

  • Dallas Wilkins

    I guarantee this place has amazing patient satisfaction scores…

  • Dallas Wilkins

    I guarantee this place has amazing patient satisfaction scores…

  • Andrew Mackey

    Funny, but I bet someone is doing it or about to…

  • Karen Ford

    Don’t forget the Dilaudid!!

  • Jessie Bronkalla Lamberty

    Hilarious!! Isn’t this what people think urgent care is anyway?? (I’m an urgent care NP)

  • Cindy Thompson

    CHICKEN SALAD! Not bland turkey!

  • Anita Staubach

    a coke and a scope to go

  • Jill Marie

    Hilarious comments!

  • Betty Turner

    I actually thought of this years ago. I called it McDoctor.

  • Stephanie Hancock Rezac

    Turkey and Percky, please.

  • Stephanie Hancock Rezac

    Turkey and Percky, please.

  • Jennifer Ferrence

    Elizabeth Wertz Jessica Hilderbrand Brittain Gorman

  • Linda Box

    What is this world coming to?

  • Megan Miller

    Jennifer Ferrence

  • Hubert Dłz

    “… yeah, uhhh… let me get the Dilaudid to go and some hot flamin’ cheetos from the vending machine in the waiting room, thanks.”

  • Elizabeth Neugart Coronado

    And a fruit platter.

  • Joanie Sapienza

    Baaaaaahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahaha!

  • Ryan William McDonald

    …Don’t forget mah “grippy socks” mah feet are coold!

  • Ryan William McDonald

    …Don’t forget mah “grippy socks” mah feet are coold!

  • Wizdom Samuel

    Its really sad that so many people are addicted to prescription narcotics . And that these 1,000.00 trips to the ED for 5.00 worth of “meds” is even allowed to occur ??

  • Wizdom Samuel

    Its really sad that so many people are addicted to prescription narcotics . And that these 1,000.00 trips to the ED for 5.00 worth of “meds” is even allowed to occur ??

  • Sharon Merritt

    LoL

  • Sharon Merritt

    LoL

  • Wizdom Samuel

    Legalize cannabis and end alot of this nonsense

  • Wizdom Samuel

    Legalize cannabis and end alot of this nonsense

  • Tom Sawzak

    They always want that turkey sandwich! Even AFTER they’ve been given their “suture removal” discharge instructions.

  • Tom Sawzak

    They always want that turkey sandwich! Even AFTER they’ve been given their “suture removal” discharge instructions.

  • Wizdom Samuel

    Funny

  • Wizdom Samuel

    Funny

  • Paul DeJohn

    Streamlined Healthcare AND top notch Press Ganeys. Done deal

  • Paul DeJohn

    Streamlined Healthcare AND top notch Press Ganeys. Done deal

  • Rachelle Miller

    Omg this is so true!!!!!’

  • Rachelle Miller

    Omg this is so true!!!!!’

  • Valerie Stewart

    Can’t forget the sandwich lol

  • Valerie Stewart

    Can’t forget the sandwich lol

  • Andrea Nygaard

    I’m speechless!

  • Andrea Nygaard

    I’m speechless!

  • Scott Greer

    Fast food medicine… I won’t be surprised at all.

  • Scott Greer

    Fast food medicine… I won’t be surprised at all.

  • Victor Gabay

    Having observed the overcrowded conditions in my hospital’s ED, with every room ccupied and gurneys lining the halls, I think this is an awesome idea! Why hadn’t anyone come up with it before? I’m forwarding this to the adinistration office for consideration.

  • Sandy Larkin

    Sad

  • Lou Lou

    Amanda Gade Granat

  • John Havlick
  • Eric Wright

    Make it a Chocolat shake instead of a soda. I am on a diet.

  • Mark D. Ehlke

    Yes, doctor. Large. Extra salt.

  • Eileen Left

    Do you want fries with that ?

  • Mark D. Ehlke

    As a parent I’m a little offended by these comments. I just want what’s best for my children. And a turkey sandwich.

  • Teresa Rose

    Press your chest to the glass for your chest X-ray. Hold your breath. Breath. Pull up to the waiting area while we wait for it to develop.

  • Eileen Left

    I often want to ask demanding parents in clinic — and would like to say “do you want fries with that ?”

  • Stella Fitzgibbons

    You only THINK you’re kidding. We had a drive-thru doctor here in TX who actually called himself that; medical board is looking into the practice.

  • Frances Ann Adams

    I need a 3 piece white (Lortab, Xanax, Soma) with a large diet coke and a warm blanket.

  • Frances Ann Adams

    Yes please.

  • Charlotte Neary

    LOL

  • Amie Caillouet-Fuller

    HAHAHA! And only because Tyl #3 doesn’t do shit for anything and gives me a headache, I can take morphine & have taken morphine but need zofran because I feel sssoooo much better that I want to eat then I PUKE!!! BAD… Had dilaudid once with my 2nd wrist fracture & it was fabulous! No puking and sleepville. Other than that…I don’t take narcs. But hey, if I can have a ‘menu choice’ why not?!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!

  • Kelly Summers Koch

    Jamie Kirby Lynch yes!

  • Christy Hornick

    Exactly

  • Dorris Helton

    For your steroids and antibiotic shots, please stick your bare ass into the next window!

  • Jodi Donnelly

    …and a voucher for this cab I’m in.

  • Mark Vadney

    The new chain will be called RN (refreshments & narcotics)

  • Julia Sopalski

    Funny guys! Really funny!

  • Lisa Lanning

    Don’t forget the Sierra Mist

  • Lisa Lanning

    Don’t forget the Sierra Mist

  • Robin Fahringer Mitchell Machajewski

    LOL! OMG, y’all totally stole my idea! This would totally work and is indeed the future of health care. Yup.

  • Robin Fahringer Mitchell Machajewski

    LOL! OMG, y’all totally stole my idea! This would totally work and is indeed the future of health care. Yup.

  • Johnny Utah III

    Would you like to upsize to Percocet 10s for an additional 0.79 cents?

  • Johnny Utah III

    Would you like to upsize to Percocet 10s for an additional 0.79 cents?

  • Alia Mauricio

    Ryan

  • Alia Mauricio

    Ryan

  • Amie Caillouet-Fuller

    Well, while we’re at it. Percs give me an atrocious headache. I’ll take Vicodin pls!

  • Amie Caillouet-Fuller

    Well, while we’re at it. Percs give me an atrocious headache. I’ll take Vicodin pls!

  • Jessica Sabol Rayner

    As long as dilaudid is on the menu…followed by Benadryl for the itching…don’t forget the meal tray for the patient and guest…

  • Jessica Sabol Rayner

    As long as dilaudid is on the menu…followed by Benadryl for the itching…don’t forget the meal tray for the patient and guest…

  • Wendy Roberts

    Oh you have to give me some phenergan with that cause Perkies make nauseas she says while eating the ham sammy. And I need 5 days off from work on my excuse and one for my hubby to cause he gotta stay home and take care of me.

  • Wendy Roberts

    Oh you have to give me some phenergan with that cause Perkies make nauseas she says while eating the ham sammy. And I need 5 days off from work on my excuse and one for my hubby to cause he gotta stay home and take care of me.

  • Logan Middlekauff

    Don’t forget Nebulizer dispersion for our CHF patients!!

  • Logan Middlekauff

    Don’t forget Nebulizer dispersion for our CHF patients!!

  • Amie Caillouet-Fuller

    Yes, please! But I want the augmentin replaced with azythromycin. If No substitutes, please add a side of 14 days of Diflucan.’

  • Amie Caillouet-Fuller

    Yes, please! But I want the augmentin replaced with azythromycin. If No substitutes, please add a side of 14 days of Diflucan.’

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