NEW YORK, NY – Harold Nositall, 42, claims to possess a new form of disease that physicians are scrambling to explain. The New York native, known to all his friends to have gluten sensitivity, was shocked to discover new findings today by Dr. Peter Gibson of Monash University in Australia.
However, this is where a new disease has emerged. Mr. Nositall has now discovered that he is actually insensitive to scientific evidence allowing, in his view, his gluten sensitivity to remain.
Needless to say, this has stunned physicians. Dr. Scimed, a noted gastroenterologist at Harvard University, was shocked to learn a patient’s beliefs could persist despite evidence to the contrary. “I’ve heard of this once or twice, but I never imagined it could be real. This case has rocked my faith in humanity to its core.”
While this story is still breaking, physicians across the nation are bracing themselves for a possible outbreak of evidence insensitivity. Shortly after speaking with GomerBlog, Dr. Scimed retreated to this office to sob silently with the shades down and the door locked. Mr. Nositall was last seen buying gluten-free bread while considering grabbing a gluten-free beer on the way home.