STONY BROOK, NY – Internal medicine (IM) resident Dr. Thinksalot was delighted to learn that his emergency department rotation was coming up.  “When I think of all the time I spend actually talking to patients and thinking to figure out their complex pathologies, it occurs to me that I have it backwards,” said Dr. Thinksalot.  “I can just order a CT pan scan, three dozen labs, and when something looks odd, I can just call someone else to admit the patient and figure it out.”

EM Doctor
“I plan to round extensively and perseverate over these 28 patients in the ER, as I’m sure I’ll have time to do so”

The ER team also expressed pleasure in having Dr. Thinksalot on their team.  Dr. Tuber, head of emergency medicine, had this to say about Dr. Thinksalot: “It’s great to have someone on board who really understands what we do down here and respects the field.  If I had two more of him, I could finally spend all my time doing what I enjoy most: ordering CT pan scans and admitting 92-year-olds with altered mental status.”

Both departments are hopeful that having an IM resident excited about working in the ED will herald a new era of love and cooperation.  As one staff member put it, “It’s great to see this level of acceptance and understanding.”

Dr. Thinksalot could not be reached for further comment as he had cancelled all patient meetings and his date with his girlfriend to be by himself with his thoughts of working in the ED.  Dr. Tuber could also not be reached as he was calling to admit a 102-year-old woman with failure to thrive.

Dr. Divergence
Dr. Divergence started life as Dr. Rounds, a simple internist, happily seeing patients, doing admissions, discharges, and in general doing the best for his patients. However, after a few years of this, on a cold December night, Dr. Divergence was bitten by a radioactive honey badger, and his consciousness and mentality slipped to the dark side where he now spends his days in reading rooms surrounded by the faint glow of monitors, X-rays, CT, and MRI scans. Thankfully, he has not chosen to use his radioactive honey badger powers for evil... yet