Miss Colorado Goes on “The View” Wearing Contact Precautions

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NEW YORK, NY – Recently Joy Baher and her The View colleagues disrespected Miss Colorado, Kelly Johnson RN, and her talent of nursing.   Nursing, a much more viable, practical, and harder talent than baton twirling, was her chosen talent during the competition of Miss Colorado.

Pageant officials turned down her talent request to run to the Pyxis, sign in with her finger on the first try, and run back to her 4 patients that repeatedly ring their call light.  So instead she decided to wear a “doctor’s stethoscope” and talk about her job.

After the large backlash on social media, #nursesunite, an apology was issued.  The View’s apology to Miss Colorado for implying nurses don’t use stethoscopes was welcomed by Miss Johnson with a contingency that Joy Baher would work a 12-hour shift filled with more charting than Baher thought possible.

In the mean time, Kelly Johnson was invited on the show Thursday morning.  Miss Colorado decided to wear a yellow contact precaution gown “to protect myself against the filth spewed by these hosts.”

Yellow contact precaution gowns are specifically used for C. diff and other contagious patients to prevent the spread of the bacteria between patients.  When entering a patient’s room with certain infections, healthcare workers need to wear contact precautions to prevent the spread to other patients.

“I was appearing on Late Night with Colbert later and didn’t want him to get infected,” Kelly insisted.

After the show, Johnson started to use alcohol-based hand sanitizer, but suddenly stopped herself: “Oh wait, soap and water can only destroy these germs.”

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    Lord Vincent Lockwell, a medival surgeon, started Gomerblog in 1388. He went for a walk in the alps to get away from the bubonic plague in what is now considered southren Germany when a tragic acident occured. The avalanche did not kill him but froze him for over 500 years. He was thawed and now continues to report on medical news.

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