John Doe

Breaking: Turns Out the Patient’s Name Really is John Doe

NASHVILLE, TN - Well, it was bound to happen one day: members of the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Vanderbilt University have realized that their comatose patient assigned the name John Doe until...
doctors lent

What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?

General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine.  “Oh, your tummy hurts?  Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?” Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid.  The screams will be deafening. Cardiologist: Stethoscopes.  If you can’t hear heart sounds without...

FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who are Full Code when they should really be DNR.  The review...
nursing call light

Tips for Patients: How to Use a Call Light

Nurses are incredibly busy.  And by busy we mean doing endless charting.  So much so that they're contractually not allowed to eat or urinate.  It's no wonder that call lights were invented; to help...
Vanilla Ice Ice Ice Baby

Vanilla Ice Keeps Ringing Call Light for “Ice Ice Baby”

MIAMI, FL - All right stop!  Collaborate and listen: Gomerblog reports that patient Vanilla Ice is bugging the hell out of nursing staff at Miami Medical Center (MMC), pressing the call light no less than 100 times...

Breaking: Patient Reports 9 Out of 10 (Emotional) Pain

SAN DIEGO, CA - Laura Martin reported that she was in pain when her nurse came to check in on her. "How bad is your pain on a scale of 1 to 10?" asked her...

Valentine’s Day Tease: Stethoscopes in Sexy Positions

WARNING: The following images of sexy stethoscopes in suggestive positions are appropriate only for health care providers older than the age of 18.  (Click to enlarge.)
Da Vinci Kong, gorilla

Video Game Review: Da Vinci Kong

Pros / Though the iconic stubborn ape of the original Donkey Kong series is hard to replace, Da Vinci holds his own as a soon-to-be iconic stubborn mechanical ape in Da Vinci Kong. Cons /...

Nurse Wants Everyone to Know: Hey, My Eyes Are Up Here

INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Nurse Sarah, an enthusiastic, perky new recruit, would like her male supervisors and patients to know, “Hey, my eyes are up here!” After a disappointing start to nursing school with a set...
stone & chisel

New Stone & Chisel Medical Record a Huge Pain in the Ass

LOS ANGELES, CA - A new stone & chisel medical record system implemented by hospital administrators at Cedar-Sinai Medical Center earlier this week is drawing the ire of health care professionals, calling it "ridiculous,"...