acl knee

Orthopedic Surgeon Arrested for Using Duct Tape to Repair ACLs

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PORTSMOUTH, NH – An 8-year investigation ended with a shocking revelation and arrest out of New Hampshire today as orthopedic surgeon Dr. Terrance Ancef-Bonecutt was caught using Duct Tape to repair patients’ anterior cruciate ligaments (ACLs) during knee surgery.  Unbeknownst to the patients and the operating room staff, Dr. Ancef-Bonecutt had been secretly using Duct Tape as ACL allografts.

acl kneeDr. Ancef-Bonecutt had performed ACL reconstruction on over 2,300 patients between 2008 and 2015 and instead of using expensive allografts, he stealthy swapped a Duct Tape graft onto the field in exchange for the expensive allograft.  He was able to conceal his allograft swap by purchasing the white Duct Tape and creating the allografts in a concoction in his garage.  The white Duct Tape looked remarkably similar to real allografts.

The scheme continued with him selling the real allografts on the black market for millions of dollars.  The FBI was able to crack the case after discovering numerous boxes of Gorilla Duct Tape being delivered to his home in Amazon boxes.

We interviewed one of Dr. Ancef-Bonecutt’s patients who was furious.  “To know that I have had Duct Tape holding my knee together for 5 years makes me furious!  No wonder my knee hurt last year after making it to the top of Everest!”

Another patient was similarly upset.  “What a scam.  I mean Duct Tape, really?  I lost the regional dead-lifting competition last year by 15 lbs and I bet this is why!”

Dr. Ancef-Bonecutt could not be reached for comment, but other orthopedic surgeons were intrigued by the fact that not one of his 2,300 Duct Tape grafts had failed.

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  • Doktor Schnabel

    Plague doctor from 1622 who practices blood letting and medical satire. My beak has mint leaves and straw to protect myself from the plague...plus it looks good.

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