By Orthopedic Surgeon, Dr. Thomas Partinger
Bones. I like bones. I like big bones. I like small bones. I like bones. I like long bones. I like short bones. I like old bones. I like young bones. I like misshapen bones. I really like broken bones. I like bones sticking out of skin. I like bones about to stick out of the skin. I like all sorts of bones. I like them. I like bones.
Sometimes bones are broken. I like to fix bones. Sometimes I break bones to fix bones. Sometimes I put screws in bones. Sometimes I put plates on bones. Sometimes I put wire around bones. Bones. I like to take broken bones and make them straight. Unless it is not a straight bone. Then I do not like to make it a straight bone.
The lungs confuse me. The heart confuses me. Kidneys confuse me. The pancreas confuses me. Bones do not confuse me. Unless it is the skull. That confuses me. Teeth confuse me. They are bones. I do not like them as much. Ancef is good. I like when anesthesia gives it. Sometimes gentamicin is good too. Not as good as bones. I like bones.
If you consult me about a deep cut, I will ask if there are broken bones. If you consult me about a crush injury, I will ask if there are broken bones. If you consult me about an infection, I will ask if there are broken bones. If you did not get X-rays, I will get them to look at the bones.
I like muscles too. Sometimes I cut muscles to get to bones. I do not like nerves. They are not bones. They get in the way of bones.
After I finished with my medical school, I was deeply intrigued by the pathophysiology of complex disease processes and the underlying pharmacokinetic changes of our current treatment strategies, but now, I like bones.
Yes. The patient may have a systole, but I don’t even know where I’d start looking to find that, nor what to do with it if I did find it. All I know is there is a fracture and I love fixing dem bones. Classic. steve.
Me doctor. Fix bones.
Haha this is too funny!
Melissa Kirschner is this about right?!!
They should have thrown an occasional f-word and “bro” in there for life-like effect.
Lol
I like bones.
I don’t see what’s wrong with it :P
So, I giggled out loud after I read this.
Amy Onstott
UTTERLY. BRILLIANT.
Massive like. I like bones.
Simon Fleming, Phil Brown, Ish Singh
The last paragraph is spot on
I <3 orthopods…but, gawd, I hate watching them fix bones. Gah.
Habeeb Khan
<3 <3 <3
Gina Kelly
Been a running joke for years where I work. Lmao.
LOL!
Joshua Bell omg
Jane Wilkinson can you please show this to Matt!
Patient is in asystole….There is a fracture I need to fix it….Classic!!!!!
Yohanna Craig Vernon
There is a fracture. I need to fix it.
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