BALTIMORE CITY, MD – Jerome Stanton an opportunist and venerate street man of Baltimore City has created an online marketplace for patrons to share their hospital lodging. Mr. Stanton says he’s been using the medical system for years for free hand-outs and considers their wanton waste of resources a veritable gold mine for the initiated.
Initially designed for “no fixes” (those without a fixed home address), the platform allows a member to offer co-sharing of their room during a hospital stay in exchange for credits. The renter gains one credit and the rentee pays one credit for each day. If a renter is untimely discharged, half credits are used.
Mr. Stanton explained that he and many of his vagrant friends feign medical complaints to gain admission to area hospitals. He’s says it’s the best deal in town for uninsured, un-housed, street crawlers like himself.
“It’s like you can walk into any hospital in town, tell them you havin’ chest pain, and blam, you gettin’ a bed, cable TV, graham crackers, and an overnight.”
Mr. Stanton expounded that because of 24-hour visitor policies, onerous patient advocacy reforms, and the gullibility of medical workers, one can craft an almost “Shangri-La” hospital stay experience.
“I like using Bon Fou Hospital for most of my exchanges. They give you a rollaway, comp tea service, and a feature movie. And those cute elderly helper ladies will bring you candy and soda over and over as if they forgettin’.”
Mr. Stanton runs his operation out of a terminal at the public library. There is no charge for membership and his operating expense for the fiscal year is zero dollars. He is hoping to monetize his product once he figures out how to use Google Ads.