HOUSTON, TX – Rhonda Jones, a 43-year-old woman reportedly insists that her diabetes is just a bad allergic reaction to a steady diet of McDonalds, Burger King, and Taco Bell, and not a systemic, potentially life-threatening disease.
“Almost everything I eat causes my allergies to flare up,” announced Jones. “I’ve been eating Quarter Pounders every week for years and always end up with bad indigestion. If that doesn’t describe an allergic reaction, I don’t know what does.”
For every medical encounter, Jones meticulously lists off every offending menu item when asked about allergies. Recent additions include “Doritos Locos Nachos,” “Big Macs,” and “The Taco Bell Party Pack.” “Oh man, I was down for days after that,” lamented Jones.
Despite being informed over and over again that this is not an allergy and that she needs a daily regimen of high-dose insulin by numerous medical professionals, Jones refuses to acknowledge the possibility that she actually has a severe, chronic medical condition.
“Some people can’t eat peanuts or eggs. I get cold sweats and nausea when I eat a Crunch Wrap Supreme and McRib Sandwich in one sitting,” explains Jones. “Food allergies are no joke.”
Nathan Meeks, an employee at a local Burger King, knows Rhonda well. “She comes here every Tuesday and Thursday. She always makes a big scene about not up-sizing her value meal in order to ‘keep her allergies under control.’ Then she sits down and eats a Whopper Deluxe with an EpiPen sitting next to her.”
