Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life in the hospital, Livin La Vida Locum, M.D. shares the true meaning of all those fancy words and phrases arranged in no particular order. Enjoy:
Intern: A larva of a doctor
Supratentorial: U R Crazy! Period.
Patient is a poor historian: I’m 8 admissions behind
My attending wants it: Nice try, but you’re not getting out of this consult.
Normocephalic Atraumatic: Patient has a head; head firmly attached to neck
Patient Satisfaction Survey: Reason why I drink
Preexisting: It was like that when I got here… I swear!
Iatrogenic: Crap… We did it.. Sorry about that
Nosocomial: From our cesspool… Sorry about that….too
Idiopathic: We don’t know what the heck is going on with you
Cryptogenic: No one knows what the heck is going on with you
Fever of Unknown Origin (FUO): If we figure out whats going on, you’re screwed. If not, you will get better and go home.
Family involved in care: This will burn A LOT of time.
Multidisciplinary Approach: You are a train-wreck.
Transfer to a Higher Level of Care: You’re too big of a train-wreck for us.
Hospitalist: The guy who will have to clean this mess
RRR S1S2: Patient’s heart beating at the time of exam
Resident: Hatchling Doctor
Adult Failure to Thrive: Unlike the other nursing home residents who ARE thriving
Sub-intern: Cocoon of a doctor
Coding Query: Another reason to drink
If you knew all of these try to pass the House of God CME Test.