Thousands Sick with 80-Degree Flu Today

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN – In what can only be described as the largest summer epidemic, experts are working frantically to find a cure for the 80-degree flu.  “Hundreds of nurses call in sick each Friday, and it only gets worse on holiday weekends,” said Dr. Reign, an epidemiologist working on the case.  “We have to find out what is causing this, and find a cure ASAP.”

“The weather is so perfect outside it hurts…”

The 80-degree flu manifests in different ways but most commonly is found to be from fatigue at work, sunshine, and warm weather.  Treatment at this time includes swimming in cool lakes, drinking cold beer and being away from work.  Although these help to minimizing symptoms, Doctor Reign is trying desperately to find a cure once and for all.

“Units continue to be short staffed on weekends as this flu is the most contagious we have ever seen, no one can quite figure it out,” Dr. Reign said.  “Rainy weekends are fully staffed with nurses requesting overtime, but it’s a different story when the weather hits 80 and sunny.”

A GomerBlog representative tried to reach out to a few nurses, but they were too far from shore to comment.  Meanwhile, Dr. Reign was found trying to reach a deceased resident wondering why he was not coming into work today.

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